Reply to Are you paying or contributing to your kids weddings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think a good ratio is: 1/2 of the attendees are Bride & Groom's friends, their peer group. 1/4 are the Bride's family/relatives/friends of parents the parents may want to invite. 1/4 same for the Groom's family/relatives/friends of parents the parents may want to invite.

This is what I would do if, as MOB, our family was paying it all. If the couple is paying it all, I guess they truly get to decide all.[/quote]

South Asian parent here.  We pay for our kids weddings usually. The one piece of advice I heard and adhered to was to have the wedding in a venue that does not have space restriction.  There is a reason that certain hotels in DMV become the South Asian wedding hotels.   This is mainly so that we do not have to cull the extensive guest list and the hotel can accomodate the elements of Desi weddings.

[/quote]

But what if your kid(s) do not want an 600+ person wedding?  what if they actually want to know and truly value each person at their wedding, so they might not want all 100+ of your friends. 
Or their cousins cousins sister to attend with their entire family of 9?

[/quote]

South Asians come in all types and I wouldn’t stereotype in the way that the PP is doing.  I’ve been to big elaborate South Asian American weddings that the parents fund and smaller ones that the couple funds themselves.[/quote]

That tells you something (I'm married to a SA, so I've seen a lot in 30+ years).  Many that I know are pushed into a big event because the parents want to show off, but the bride/groom want a somewhat smaller event.  We have told our kids we will fund whatever they want--within reason---if they want a 600 person event it will not be the huge grandiose and $500/person event and we are not paying for everyone to attend a destination wedding---we support destination weddings, but beyond immediate family, we are not paying for airfare and hotels, and we can afford it. But if they do a 30-40 person destination wedding, we would pay for hotels for everyone.  
I just think the B/G should have a choice, and I often see that it's not a choice in so many weddings.  Thankfully, our kids don't want 500+ people, they don't want all the relatives they don't really know or for a 2nd cousin to ask/bring their in-laws (another 6 people), etc.  They want a nice wedding where they actually know everyone who comes.  [/quote]

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