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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hello all, 
My kid is in the 8th grade, and she has been doing pretty good until now. One of her friends started randomly excluding her, and making sure she knows that she’s being excluded. Aside with other small problems, this has taken a toll on my daughter’s mental health, and grades. I know middle school friends are hard, but is there any way that I could help her with this? Anything I could say to make her feel better? [/quote]

I’ve never understood why girls are so mean to each other. I hope your daughter finds real friends and that karma finds the kid aka ”friend” who is doing this to your child. She will end up a loser later in life. [/quote]

Business school taught me that most mean people are deeply insecure. Tween & teen years are so confusing, so awkward, and the years when kids have to learn how to handle ambiguity, emotions (their own & other people’s), communication issues, all at the same time that being popular or unpopular becomes insanely important.

None of that is an excuse for meanness, but learning how to keep yourself safe, sane, and most importantly learning that what feels like a permanent, awful, mortifying reality… often passes in a day or even in an hour sometimes. OP’s DD is right to be particularly hurt by a longtime friend turning on her, that doesn’t go away in a day, but some humans are indeed awful so learning whatever coping skills possible to get through it is pretty much what middle & high school are all about.

Now I love being in meetings with important impressive people and being completely comfortable and unafraid of their opinions. Middle school me that cried every night because I had no friends and was left out has learned a lot about why people are the ways they are. And how to walk away mentally, and often physically, from the ones who are so caught up in themselves they suck the energy from the room, even if they’re a boss.[/quote]

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