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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Gray divorce is a massive pain in the ass for your adult children. Stick it out for 10 years, then you won't care and can just live like room mates.[/quote]

Why?  Genuinely curious since I’m in the middle of one. I’ll come out of it financially stable and won’t need to work (I’m 52). Two adult kids who have graduated college already. Plans are made for who pays for weddings etc. [/quote]

Because it opens the door to all kinds of bad things. You might get in a relationship or marry someone who brings problems to the family (like, someone with problem adult children, or who is broke or an alcoholic or whatever). This is what my mother did, she just blames the problems on everyone except her partner and thinks we all should help him out. You might have a second marriage that's just as unhappy as your first, so then that's the same amount of unhappiness but with much worse logistics.

If you or your father died married to each other, then the money would go to their other parent, which keeps it in the family and improves the circumstances of their other parent. That's a positive thing for adult children. If you die married to someone else, they get it and it'll probably end up with their children rather than your children. Not appealing.[/quote]

So, help me understand this.  You are an adult, and you might get into a relationship or marry someone who brings problems to the family (if your parents can so can you, no questions).  Does it mean that your parents have a right to insist on you never having a relationship or getting married?  What about having kids- your kid might have a special need, and then your parents have to help you manage that and it messes up their retirement plans, can they forbid you from having children?[/quote]

Well no, they don't have to help me. Eventually I'll be helping them more and more and then most likely they'll be gone. A high needs child or problem spouse is not a burden on them in the same way. They won't be caring for me when I'm old and can't care for myself.

I don't think adult children have the right to insist that their parents stay single. I don't think that's necessarily a good deal for adult children. But I think we can all hope that our family members make good choices in marriage and divorce, because a bad choice affects the whole family. PP asked how gray divorce affects adult children and this is how. [/quote]

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