Reply to No birthday present- break up with him?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here: Now I’ll probably get flamed for asking him when we were going out for my birthday. I’m sorry I was married forever and have no effs to give. [/quote]

No, you won't, because DCUM believes you should not date a man who is lazy, disorganized, or has unacknowledged ADHD. [/quote]

OP here: I know- it’s so funny how I’m the villain until I reveal the ADHD part 😂[/quote]

No, you're still childish to care so much about material gifts. But it's weird that you made it about the physical gift when clearly your problem involves more than that. [/quote]

Of course it is about more than that! That is the entire point.[/quote]

No it isn't. At first it seemed like he took her to dinner but gave no other gift. The problem is actually that he made no dinner plan until reminded, was late, and admitted he ran out of time for flowers. If he made and executed a perfect plan for a restaurant meal but there was no gift, that's not a problem IMO. But what OP described when she told the full story is not ok.[/quote]

OP here. Upon further reflection, I think this is why the lack of a gift has bothered me. It was the overall lack of effort. If he had taken the initiative to plan something in a thoughtful manner, I wouldn’t have been looking for something else to show he cared. It was the same thing for Valentines Day. He never said happy Valentine’s Day I’m excited to celebrate with you at a future date and do something fun. He never said let’s put something on the calendar. (We had our kids that day so we’re apart.) Anyway, this has all been helpful to hear.[/quote]

I’m married to a surgeon. He makes a lot of money but effort levels for these thoughtful gestures are low. I don’t know what type of doctor this guy is. I’m not making excuses for him but if he is busy, has a lot on his mind plus he has kids.

DH is attractive, smart, loves our kids, is a good provider, helps around the house, does all the car and lawn maintenance, goes to kid things when he is available.

Buying gifts? Never. Planning special occasion dinners? Eh some years, not all years. I say I want to go to X restaurant for my birthday. Some years I book it. Other years he books it. Some valentines he gets me a card and flowers. Some years we are on a trip with our kids. Some years it is just a dinner. My point is there is always time to do this if he is worth it.[/quote]

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