Reply to If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you.

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Reply to "If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
In part, I think it has to do with the different attitudes about sex between the genders. At least stereotypically, a woman could walk into a bar, announce "I want to have sex with a man" and have some takers. For a guy to get laid, generally the woman has to think he's something special. (Not always how it works in practice, of course). When a woman starts having sex with you regularly and marries you, she's showing you, "Hey, I think you're something special." When she stops having sex with her DH, the message is, "I no longer think you're something special" (sometimes with an extra helping of, "but keep helping with the finances and children anyway.") [/quote]

Interesting.  I'll have to ask DH about that.  It's not our intent, you know?  Really, it isn't.  Most of us anyway.  It wasn't for me.   [/quote]

When I'm thinking rationally, I understand that my wife not wanting to have sex with me isn't about me. (Except sometimes it is - adding to the confusion.) But with me (and a lot of guys, I think - a lot of women too, probably) sex isn't tied into the more rational parts of the brain. So, there is the emotional sadness of feeling rejected (even if you aren't, in fact, being rejected) coupled with a bit of isolation in that you know you're not allowed to seek affirmation through sex elsewhere. (Bit of a mixed message - "sex isn't important unless you try to have it with someone else.") [/quote]

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