Reply to Is dating just a means to an end for 50+ men?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m the 40yo who dates 25yos. Funny how triggering that was for some people (and happy to see other women who also date younger! Life is too short to not go after what you want).

To address what people have brought up:

1. I know 25 year olds will bang anything. Who cares? I’m way past needing to prove my worth through getting commitment/marriage from a man. Men typically aren’t that picky about who they marry so I don’t see commitment as a good indicator of one’s value.

2. Yes, I often pay. Again, I don’t need a man’s money to prove my worth. I already earn more money than most men. My priorities with men are physical attractiveness, charisma, and playfulness. I want to have fun, not get free meals. If a guy pays (and many do because they get their own validation from it), great. If not, no problem, I’d rather pay for a weekend getaway with a guy who has a six pack than go on a free trip with a guy with a potbelly.

I do like to go on a lot of last minute trips when my kids are with their dad (last week went to Laguna Beach), so I like someone who has the flexibility to accompany me. That’s usually younger men. A 55 year old attorney with 3 kids can’t do what I want to do.

3. I don’t find it hollow or meaningless. I’m well past needing “true love” to feel fulfilled and statistics show married women are the unhappiest. I can still have feelings for the men I date and vice versa - there *is* affection, care, tenderness, etc. Usually more than men give once in a LTR, and they stop trying because they “got” her. One of the men I’m dating is 30, literally spends hours kissing my body all over, after sex we’ll cuddle and talk for 1-2 hours, and we say ILY to each other because we do love each other, but not in the “get married and have kids” way. WAY better than a 50yo who will struggle to get it up, doesn’t know what foreplay is, and immediately rolls over to go to sleep.

It’s not for everyone, and I’m not saying all women should do this. Everyone should do what is right for them. And right now, settling down with a 50-something man is definitely not right for me. Maybe one day, but not today. [/quote]

I don’t disagree with any of this- other than why 25? I’m 49 and have found around 40-45 to be my sweet spot. My son is 19- I don’t know any 25 year olds who own homes and have the means to spontaneously travel to Laguna for the weekend. At 25 most of them are going to engagement parties and starting careers not cougaring off to Laguna for string free sex with older women. I like younger men because I don’t want to deal with ED issues-I’m not in it for marriage so chemistry is critical.

I take no offense to any of your points, they’re all valid, you’re just insisting that you like very very young men and I find it a bit strange- just like I would with a single midlife man who insists 20 year olds women are “better”. [/quote]

PP. I date from 25-45. Next month I'm going on a trip with a 43yo man I've been dating.

It's not about age as much as: I want someone with a 6 pack and a full head of hair, who is fun to be around, has stamina in bed, and can go on spontaneous trips and dates. That rules out most 40s men. I don't think any particular group of men is better than others, but some don't align with what I want at this point in time.[/quote]

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