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Reply to "What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DS is already in college but I want to post my thoughts for mainly Asian-American parents who will go through this process. For us, frankly, there were no surprises. We were very clear about what we wanted and what we were against. We knew quite early that the entire system is biased against Asian-American (especially males), and we prepared accordingly throughout his academic career. In fact, our entire planning was to make up for the various bamboo ceilings that he would encounter, and give him any edge regarding academics, ECs, health, support system, socialization, finances that we could. - Financially - we saved for college and decided that our kids will never have student debt, even if we were subsisting on rice and beans. - Prestige - we concentrated on the major/research/course offering and not the college. Eventually, he did not get into his top choice (MIT) but got into second choice (UMD) that he chose over other strong STEM schools like UMich and GTech. - Academics - kid was in STEM magnet, had 4.0 GPA, 4.8 wGPA, 1590 SAT, NMS finalist, Foreign language for 5 years culminating in AP FL- from MS till HS, 12 APs with 5s. Strong ECs, scientific competitions, volunteer work and co-author on published paper after research internship. There were no faults in his resume and achievements. What is important is not getting into a college, but, being able to thrive in college - academically, socially and mentally. They need to get a holistic education, they need to develop as an individual, they need to be able to strategize and plan for their future. Even in college, with such a bleak job market they need to be able to - do well academically, have hobbies and skills, form close friendships, embrace new experiences and interests, get internships/jobs to get experience, network, develop skills, prioritize their physical, mental and emotional health - for future. Getting into college is not the end-all. There is a whole lot more adulting needed once they go to college. [/quote] I respect your lived experience, and it’s clear your DS is very accomplished and will continue to do you proud! Just to provide a counterpoint, my family is Asian American, and our DS does not appear to have encountered a bamboo ceiling in college admissions - he got into his top choice HYPSM early. So many T5 applicants have stellar achievements that we consider his [b]admittance to be luck[/b], and would not have considered a denial to be due to bias.[/quote] Yes, the top colleges do take Asian Americans. It is not an even playing field compared to the other applicants they take with far lessar achievements because of hooks. The point I am trying to make is[b] that you need be your best and excel in all academics and EC parameters.[/b] After that you have to have a mindset and plan to succeed in whatever admission reality is. Admissions can be on luck and whim of AO, especially if you do not have hooks or network. But rest of life does not have to be left to luck alone. [/quote] this is true of all non-URMs. and you should know as an Asian American, not to be the cliche STEM or CS major who plays chess. Choose a major accordingly. Don't be a cliche. My half white and half Asian kids knew the playing field for what it is. You have to stand out from everyone else at your high school. Not just the Asians. But, everyone. Then, you get into T20. Or Ivies (for my older kid).[/quote] I’m not the PP to whom you responded, but the PP to whom *they* responded. My DS stayed true to himself in his application even though it was cliche - Asian American male, hardcore CS/Math nerd - and was successful. He also got lucky, I’m sure, but my point is that you can in fact be successful without playing games.[/quote] Most applicants like this are successful. Very good students will get admitted. The key is not to scapegoat URMs when one isn't admitted: this is happening a bit too much in the Asian American community.[/quote] To be fair, I don’t think any of the Asian American PPs said anything about URMs specifically, much less scapegoating them. I certainly didn’t.[/quote] No you did not but too many often do here on DCUM.[/quote]
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