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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP above and I forgot to add that I was sexually assaulted multiple times in my late teens and 20s and didn’t even fully understand it was sexual assault until the last time (when I pressed charges and was ready to testify until last-minute plea deal). That’s why I have started so early with DD. [/quote]

I’m sorry this happened to you.
I’m not really understanding a sexual assault that you “didn’t really understand was sexual assault” until it happened to you several times.
Obviously that sounds horrific. Very confusing though for the guy as well if he also didn’t realize that it was against your will? Just trying to figure out how that is communicated after the fact so that he is also aware that you now realize it was sexual assault.[/quote]

I am not PP but a lot of people think it isn't assault if it isn't violent rape. Too drunk to consent, froze up, groped but no penetration - lots of people wrongly think these are not assault. [/quote]

How is the guy going to know that you don’t want it if you don’t say no. [/quote]

Unless she clearly says yes, it should not proceed. PERIOD. My friends with boys are teaching their boys this.

If they are drinking to the point of drunk and unable to consent it shoudl not go forward.

Boys aren't animals. It's time we stop treating them like they are not capable of knowing when there is consent.[/quote]

It’s well past time to stop teaching girls that they can’t use their words.  Stop infantilizing women and girls.  [b]Don’t teach your daughters that her safety is anyone’s responsibility but her own, for starters[/b].[/quote]

Nope. If she is drunk or roofied or scared, it's not OK to have sex with her. Yes it would be better if she hadn't got in that situation but the partner who proceeds without consent is responsible for that choice he is making. Stop acting like men can't help themselves. And stop acting like the goal should be anything except enthusiastic participation. [/quote]

No one is saying it’s okay to rape someone so come off it.

You’re talking about teaching your daughter that it’s not her fault after she’s been victimized.  Meanwhile, I’ll continue teaching my daughter how to drastically reduce her chances of being victimized in the first place.

It’s magical thinking to imagine that your daughter will someday live in world where no man will sexually assault her if she gets blackout drunk at a random party, because finally someone taught all those darn rapists that they’re not allowed to do that!

Seriously, do you hear yourself?[/quote]

You responded to a thread about someone's actual assault, and about how a man could possibly know a woman didn't consent. Your response was "stop teaching girls that they can't use their words." Do you hear [i]your[/i]self?

The post directly above yours was about someone too drunk to consent. Is that ideal? No. Should you teach your DD not to get drunk like that, especially with people she doesn't know or trust? Of course, that's a great thing to teach. [b]AND ALSO teach boys, and expect boys, not to have sex with someone who is too drunk to consent,[/b] regardless of whether she says no. Boys absolutely have responsibility for what they do with their own bodies and whether they choose to have sex with someone who didn't clearly consent. [/quote]

Stop.Being.Stupid.

You can’t control what other people do or don’t teach their sons. Just like you can’t control whether or not your son gives a sh!t.  Worry about teaching your daughter to protect herself and not to rely on the kindness of strangers.  The only person she can count on to watch out for her safety is herself.

Stop.Infantilizing.Girls.[/quote]

You are revolting and offensive. It is not "infantilizing" girls to expect boys to respect women. To gain consent. To learn to accept no. I'm all for teaching girls about risks but that has been going on for generations. It's time for BOYS and parents of boys to play a role here. Failing to do that is infantilizing boys, if anything. [/quote]

Gain consent from whom and what does that look like exactly? The two teens, which I assume we’re talking about, are hanging out and they like each other.

Are we talking about the boy asking “do I have your consent?” every step of the way? And then the girl saying back “yes, do i have your consent?” And so on?

[b]This isn’t any normal interaction. This must be the anxious generation.[/b]
[/quote]

These moms are out of their minds.  I challenge them to think about how their own sexual interactions go with their partners (if they’re still even having sex, which I doubt).

Do their husband get their explicit, verbal, enthusiastic consent when they kiss them goodbye in the morning?  [/quote]

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