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Tweens and Teens
Reply to "How are you preparing your DD to protect herself?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a 52 year old mom of two daughters 18 and 20. None of us have ever had to deal with sexual harassment. Calm down. [/quote] Same.[/quote] Same here. I think it makes 5 of us on this thread so far. I was beautiful in my teens/20s/30s and always dated very attractive, successful men (and then married one --a physician). But I was never really harassed--not even really cat called. I don't really exude sexuality or vulnerability. I've never dressed provocatively or even very femininely. I'm not saying that women should change their dress to avoid harassment but I've always wondered why I never got harassed why other women say they were continually and I assume it must have had something to do with my clothing. I otherwise don't know. [/quote] One theory I have is some of it is whether you stand out in some way. Are you average height, average hair color, average build etc? Dress just fitting in? I have a friend like this and we would talk about it and no one really bothered her. She just blended in. I am tall and blond and got harassed a bunch. I think I both stuck out and was memorable for people who might see me repeatedly during regular day to day life.[/quote] Also [b]have you lived in a city. I challenge a decently attractive and young woman to walk 20 blocks in a real city daily for a month and not have someone call out to them or something happen.[/b][/quote] +1 - and you don't even have to be young. I am 55, wear normal jeans and a t-shirt, and although I'm officially the top of overweight, almost obese BMI, I am curvy and have a booty. When I was younger (MS & HS), men felt free to touch me; once a stranger on an urban street actually picked me up and physically started carrying me away - which was frightening! Still today I get men (strangers) saying extremely lewd things to me on the metro or street. These are people I didn't have any interaction with at all. In my 30s, on an airplane during a business trip, a fellow passenger (stranger) was so drunk and saying such degrading sexually provocative stuff to me that the air crew locked him in the bathroom until landing. I've also been sexually harassed at work in at least 2 different jobs. It's exhausting. I don't consider myself pretty, definitely not in the classic way. I am in no way acting like I want or would welcome this. I do not stand out - brown hair, brown eyes, no special look. It's exhausting. It's crazy what men think they have permission to do to any woman. I think I thought my DD was of a different generation & men her age would know better but that hasn't been her experience at all. The best way I can prepare her is to talk about what happened to me, and constantly say that sexual harassment and assault are illegal and educate her about women's history, her legal rights and teach her about consent and encourage her to say no without shame. She knows she can always come to me about anything without worrying about being blamed. As a result, the things she has shared have been eye-opening (not in a good way) as to what women and young girls still endure today. I thought men had evolved to be better than this. Apparently not. I can only imagine it is going to get worse post-Dobbs and under Trump as parts of society try to push women back to traditional gender roles and take away their rights. [/quote] I had a roommate with very large breasts. She said her mom took her to a dentist when she was 12. The dentist office happened to be next to a planned parenthood. The protesters assumed she was there for an abortion and harassed her on the way in. She said it was very scary. [/quote]
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