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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I guess I'm the odd person out because I think this spending is frivolous and wasteful, particularly for a SAHM.  The lunches and coffees make sense because that's good for her mental health.  All the rest can be done at home much more inexpensively.

Did she think she was going to be able to quit her job and not have to adjust the purse strings at all?  [/quote]

She does have a job actually--and it's probably a lot harder than his job. And no, she shouldn't be expected to cut back because she no longer works for an employer. She is a mom, she deserves some breaks and her own spending money, he shouldn't have a say. I think he's cheap and wants to push her to go back to formal employment. [/quote]

Working mom here and I agree. Being an engaged parent 24/7 is a lot of effort. I’m glad OP is recognizing this. I hope he’s also giving her breaks beyond a pedicure here and there.

It’s also way more isolating than working. During my maternity leaves I went to the mall and out for coffee all the time so I had a reason to leave the house that was not going to the park. I would try hard to be respectful of that.

You guys don’t have a very high income to live in Bethesda. This is going to take a lot of vigilance from both of you but it’s not your job to micromanage her. You are still her spouse and NOT her employer. If you aren’t saving enough or whatever ask her to cut back $400 a month or whatever but don’t tell her how to do that. You trust her to care for your kids, can’t you trust her with your SHARED money? You guys need to agree on your goals and then let her deal with her end of it. I got tired of spending $$$ on kids clothes that got ruined but I don’t live in Bethesda anymore so it isn’t weird that my kids wear amazon brand and stuff. She can figure this out.[/quote]

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