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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think people are overreacting to OP. I just think their point was that if you assume that everyone living in a million dollar (or more) home just has a very high income and is better at saving or financial management than you-- you are missing part of the picture. This is true of some people but many people are getting into those homes other ways often by inheriting money for a down payment or inheriting the house itself. I don't view this as a value judgment but just information. I think people in their 20s and 30s have a tendency to think that everyone in their same industry or with similar education background is working from the same resources and this misunderstanding actually LEADS to the jealousy and resentment people feel at times. But if you understand that people are working with very different resources and from different starting points then I find it harder to be resentful of it because it makes me realize that we are doing fine.

We have friends who were gifted large sums to buy homes. We also know people who inherited money or homes. We also know people with high incomes who could simply afford more house. We also know people who are just extremely scrupulous savers. And we know people who are some combingation of the above. The point is that everyone is on their own path and figuring out what works based on their situation. Understanding this liberated me to make choices that made sense for me and not worry about whether I was on the same page as peers becasue it turns out we just have very different lives and comparing doesn't make sense.

But that also cuts the other way. Occasionally I come across people who are impressed with themselves for what they have even though they have major advantages most people don't have. I roll my eyes at these peopel who I think are often naive and lack context. There are people who believe "everyone" gets money from their parents for a house or that "everyone's" parents paid for their education or will pay for their kids education. These people are as insufferable (perhaps more so) than people who complain all the time about things being unfair imo.[/quote]

But why compare at all? You presented this like the only options are to jealously stare at what other people have and either make assumptions or become resentful. You could also just focus on you and your family. Build your wealth. Create your joy. Appreciate what you have. Be grateful for your own life.

Your happiness is never in your neighbor's yard. It’s always on your own side of the fence. [/quote]

People compare both because it natural to do so and because they find it informative. I think one reason people compare in this situation is because they may have certain goals and look to peers who have achieved those goals for guidance and ideas. If your neighbor or colleague or college classmate seems to have achieved goals you share, it's normal to think about how they did it and see if you can use the same strategy.

But the whole point here is that sometimes you realize their path can't be replicated by you if it involves family wealth or assistance you don't have access to. This can be both a hard realization (life is not fair) and a liberating one (I don't have to keep up with the Jones's because the Jones's have generational wealth and I don't).

If you are the Jones's I recommend get comfy with the fact that this happens and letting go of it. It is as unrealistic for you to demand people never compare or look at what their neighbors have as it is for someone like OP to demand they too be given a valuable home in a nice neighborhood.

This is just how the world works.[/quote]

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