Reply to It’s shocking how many parents tell us (DINKS) we “did it right”

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Reply to "It’s shocking how many parents tell us (DINKS) we “did it right”"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think everyone without kids thinks that this is absolutely the best life.  Then you have kids and realize it gets better.  Do I miss my childless days?  Always.  But in a way that I am grateful for that chapter but also grateful for the next chapter.  Life without experiencing parenthood is incomplete.[/quote]

I try to stay open minded and believe you can live a good and fulfilling life without kids BUT this was definitely my personal experience. But I became a mom later in life (38) so I had lots of time to experience and enjoy the DINK lifestyle. It was great. But being a mom is better (for me). I was amazed especially in those early years at how much I enjoyed doing incredibly mundane things and living a pretty circumscribed life because I had to accommodate a baby or toddler. But I just love my child so much that even just staying in to hang out felt rewarding. And as my kid has gotten older that feeling has deepened AND I've regained some of my freedom -- things get a lot easier once your kids are school age.

To me it is was similar to getting married -- you give up some freedoms but you barely notice because in exchange you get to spend your life with someone you love. And with kids it's even easier in my experience because it's easier to love a child you created than an adult.

I had my years of traveling year round and going out to eat all the time. Seeing concerts on weeknights. Sleeping in until noon on Saturday. It was great! I would not want to spend the rest of my life living that way. Becoming a parent has allowed me to evolve as a person.[/quote]

I think that's wonderful and I've seen the same with other people I know who had kids - but I think what a lot of parents don't understand is that even people withut kids have lives that evolve and change. I am 50 - I don't go to concerts all night or sleep until noon. I'm up at 6 am most days - slept until 6:20 this morning and it felt like I'd slept forever. We are adults with adult lives. We didn't stay perpetual 20 year olds (by and large - I do have a 60 year old cousin who basically lives the same way as he did at 20, but he's the exception). Our lives grow and evolve, too. Just in different ways from yours. And in some of the same ways! I think a lot of you are imagining being a DINK as if you never stopped being 25, and it's really not like that.[/quote]

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