Reply to Who is unreasonable here: Friend A or Friend B?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It does seem sketchy that B’s DH’s colleague would back out in such a way that benefits B, and that DH is shrewd (if this assessment is from OP, not sure). It does almost seem like a set up, but of course this is speculation.

I agree with the PP’s question: did she swoop in an opportunistic fashion or did she sincerely empathize? If she swooped in without at least saying something like, that sucks, then I can see why you would feel resentful.

Is she generally a good friend? Sometimes we can all act in a greedy or regrettable manner. If she’s overall a good friend, then maybe some distance will help.

If she’s not been a good friend, then do what you want: ghost, say you found another buyer, etc.

RE: the $2k, to not feel so bad about it, you can look at it like a gym membership. $167/mo for a gym membership is not out of bounds. [/quote]

OP here.  Yes, she did swoop in as soon as she learned that the buyer backed out.  She almost immediately had reserved movers and someone to disassemble it tomorrow, literally within 10 minutes of the conversation about the buyer backing out (this makes me wonder if she had already prearranged this because she knew before me that the buyer was backing out, and if so, what was her involvement in that, though not sure how fair that is).  Our other friend has pointed out that she could have offered to message her friend group while I was dealing with packing, etc, to help me find another last minute buyer because she knows a lot of expats with the means to pay for it (her kids stable/pony friends' parents, etc) but her priority seemed to be locking down the free treadmill for herself as quickly as possible.

I don't know.  I am not great with confrontation, so I will probably just remain very guarded and not talk much when she comes tomorrow to take it.  Then I will let the friendship fade.

Thanks for the replies here.  I have found myself in situations in the past where I let someone take advantage of me.  It's my own character flaw or personal issue, I guess.  I am going to try to be more guarded in the future.[/quote]

[b]I’m sorry but it is pretty ridiculous for you to expect her to help you find a buyer.[/b] I can’t imagine someone wanting me to reach out to my friends to sell something used for them.

[b]I think you should just take this treadmill with you back home if it means so much to you.[/b]

I am a rich SAHM. DH lets me spend what I want and if I wanted this, I would have bought it from you. I don’t normally like to buy items used. I would rather buy the treadmill new. I once had a friend who was moving who had a bike and was moving. I tried out her bike and it was ok but I didn’t love it. She wanted $100 for the $500 bike. When she moved, she did not give me the bike. I would have taken it for free but she didn’t offer and I didn’t ask. She would rather take the bike than give it to me for free. We are still friends. No big deal.

Not all SAHM situations are the same. Some husbands are very controlling with how the money is spent.[/quote]

I DIDN'T expect her to help me find a buyer.  Our other friend pointed out that it would have been more, well, friend-like, if she had OFFERED to do that herself, knowing the buyer had withdrawn and I am spending the last day packing.

The treadmill itself isn't that important to me.  The relationship with my friend was the important thing.  The treadmill issue is just an episode in the friendship.

Anyway, the issue here, I see, is that I need to be less weak and more careful in choosing my friends.  [/quote]

The more you post, the more I’m with friend B. There was never any way she could win with you. You clearly never liked her, and that’s a ridiculous expectation btw. [/quote]

We got a taker posting here. They always pop up in these posts to justify their selfish ways. [/quote]

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