Reply to Rant: “you look amazing”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Team OP. I also lost the baby weight quickly...and then a ton MORE weight, because I was EP and my baby had severe protein intolerances, plus I was struggling mightily with sleep deprivation and PPA after going back to work at 6 weeks postpartum. I looked unhealthy by any measure - my clothes were hanging off of me like a skeleton, and I was exhausted. But SO MANY people - mostly men! mostly my management consulting clients! - wanted to talk about how quickly I had 'snapped back' and tell me I 'didn't even look like I had been pregnant!'

Those of you who are totally A-OK with the whole wide world policing and commenting on your body are the ones who need to do some introspection.[/quote]

It's delusional to expect random people to know the extent of your mental health issues and suffering. "You look great!" Doesn't mean you actually look great or that your body looks great. It's a generic statement equal to 
"how are you?" 
"I'm good.." [/quote]

It’s not delusional to expect random people not to comment on your appearance. That’s a very baseline manners lesson readily learned by children. [/quote]

Wrong. And btw you may try giving someone a genuine compliment on their new appearance - hair cut, outfit, happy face, weight loss, general health and wellness — and most likely you will brighten someone’s day.

[/quote]

[b]You are determined not to get the point.  [/b]Wake up to the fact that your comments on appearance are not what you think they are.  No matter how well meaning, you are being rude.  Find new, more substantive and kind ways to brighten someone's day.

And also learn to read.  The person upthread said the men where commenting specifically on how she "bounced back" from pregnancy.  Like she deserved a special prize.  There are a lot of layers to unpack there about how we treat women who have children and what we value about women, in other words, the over-emphasis on women's appearance.

Get a clue, PP.[/quote]

PP, I think everyone gets your point. We just don't agree because you are twisting benign compliments like “You look great!” into something well beyond anything the speaker intended. Perhaps you want such sentiments to be outlawed but currently they are understood to be normal kindnesses. If I observed someone reacting the way OP appears to have done to such a compliment, I would absolutely understand that OP is not in a normal place, and would exit the conversation and expressly avoid her as a wild card likely to hurl arbitrary accusations. Sorry for whatever she is going through but she is blaming the world for them rather than addressing them and I don't want to be in the line of fire. If you insist on a narrative that defies common meaning and intention, it is not the world that is being obtuse. [/quote]

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