Reply to Fiancé wants a church wedding

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If OP were Jewish and said she and her DH had already agreed upon raising their kids with Jewish beliefs and traditions, but he wanted her to pretend not to be Jewish and that they were going to raise their kids Catholic and get married in a Catholic Church, would some of you PPs still be saying she should give in because it’s not that important and she should just make DH and his family happy?

[b]I’m so tired of non-belief being treated as less than belief in religion. [/b]

My belief that religion is all made up because historically humans needed a way to explain things they don’t understand and to control people into acting in certain ways to proliferate our species is just as valid as belief in Catholicism. The main difference is I tend not to broadcast this belief to any and everyone because I respect that others believe differently and I have no desire to convert people to my way of thinking or have them plan events to cater to my beliefs. If some day my children decide to convert and have a full Catholic mass wedding, I will be there with a smile and bells on. I would never dream in a million years of telling (or silently guilting) my boys into thinking they couldn’t get married at the church they and their bride had chosen because I only want them married outside a church consistent with my non-belief.

That would be incredibly narcissistic and yet that is how so many aggressively religious people behave.  [/quote]

Agreed. I’m the pp who suggested “hiding” by loosely affiliating with a loose goosey church (many others there will also be non religious), and for this exact reason. For whatever reason, religious bully types will semi-respect this yet will not respect being altogether non-religious. [/quote]
A family who cares about a canonically valid marriage (in so many terms! or put simply “a Catholic wedding) will not agree to such a farce either. Again, it’s a Catholic thing. If you don’t get it (and OP, and many PPs do not get it), you won’t get it. OP not getting it is why they should not get married. Calling it all off is in the best interest of both the Catholic and non-Catholic party.

This is a honking, glaring red flag of fundamental incompatibility that “counseling” will not magically wave away.[/quote]

[b]The family doesn’t need to “agree to” a thing here. The arrogance here lol…. They are not the ones getting married. [/b][/quote]

I guess if one family is Catholic that is supposed to supercede everything else.  Including the wishes of the couple actually getting married.  Maybe OP should run... if her future in laws might be inserting their beliefs and wishes into the marriage and her fiance has no back bone.

[/quote]

Op is a troll. She has changed her story. The title said the fiancé wanted a church wedding. Then no, just didn't want to get married at the reception venue. Then somehow there were 11 pages of people arguing about the intricacies of having a Catholic wedding which the fiancé doesn't even really care about because he's actually non religious. Except for he also wants to appease his Catholic family, but then OP comes back again to say no, he doesn't really care anyway. Just, all over the place.[/quote]

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