Reply to Should I give up tenured professor position to help DH move higher?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is it just me, or is it really unsettling to see OP casually thinking about giving up essentially a dream job that many people are working hard to try to get?[/quote]

+1[/quote]

This notion is overblown. There is dream job and dream/ideal family life and setup. I’m not saying OP should do it, but it shows how self-centered we’ve become to find it so inconceivable that a man or a [b]woman may, gasp, give up on something that’s amazing for themself because they prioritized the family…[/b].

The other thing I will say it, a lot of “dream jobs” are not what they seem from the outside. I am in academia - not tenured yet - but have many friends who are, and a lot of people would happily quit to pursue passions /early retire if their spouse could make as much as OPs husband. [/quote]
It's almost always the woman though, isnt it? OP has a great job. Her husband already makes a ton of money. But he wants to uproot their entire family to move across the ocean because of his career. He is not prioritizing his family! But somehow OP wanting to consider all her options makes her selfish? C'mon now. [/quote]

I'm the PP  - I did not say OP is selfish anywhere in my post. My point is that the opposition and contempt to OP even asking this question "should i give up my job for spouse/family reasons" - THIS attitude is self-centered.

And it is not always the woman.... I know plenty of men who made similar decision/sacrifices, in my circle of well-educated, high earning acquaintances. It IS always the woman who posts about it on internet forums or discusses it thoroughly with friends, colleagues, etc. The men who do it, do it quietly. My husband did this for our family. [/quote]

Will he be able to keep his job if he keeps turning down the overseas positions?  Younger colleagues who are willing to relocate for a few years will eventually be promoted over him.

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