Reply to Vent: My son unintentionally shamed my brother, who then "told on me" to our parents

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Reply to "Vent: My son unintentionally shamed my brother, who then "told on me" to our parents"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What exactly do your parents want your son to apologize for? He’s 7 years old. They are inquisitive and insistent and all little budding attorneys. Your brother should have had some way to explain himself and the way he is living his life. Maybe as a PP said, you can tell your brother you’re sorry he was uncomfortable. Your son doesn’t need to say anything.

But OP, what do your parents expect to happen when they die? Do they expect you to take over in looking after your brother? Are they going to set up a trust for him, assuming they’ll have assets they can leave for him so he doesn’t blow through everything. If you haven’t had that discussion with them, you should. And if he hasn’t gotten any mental health assessments, he should.

The idea that your brother brought over his dirty laundry for you to do is just mind-blowing. [/quote]

+1000[/quote]

Yup exactly.  My sister had 5 kids and we all had to glorify her for not having a full time job.  That was somewhat okay when the kids were little, but one day the kids were no longer kids, yet she continued to stay home and we all were supposed to praise her for this. Meanwhile her husband got very ill and they had to move into a shack and now she's miserable....but it never occured to her to get a job. And we still have to justify her refusal to get a job. [/quote]

I don't consider a woman with 5 kids, even if they are in high school, working part-time or even only being SAHM anything like OP's brother's situation. Look into what it costs to have someone prepare meals, help with homework, monitor phone usage, provide emotional support, clean, organize, etc and then get to me.[/quote]

Completely agree with this. I'm sure the mother of 5 has plenty of responsibilities to fulfill every day, for her family and herself. and I can almost guarantee that the uncle is not completing any tasks for anyone. He doesn't even do his own laundry.

Not at all comparable.[/quote]

Not if she nor the husband are actually not fulfilling the responsibilities.  Sure, there are many responsibiities that we all have, doesn't mean people do them.  The brother has a responsibility to actually give back to society and he is not. He has a responsibiity to be a grown up and actually teach a kid about living with a disability but he did not.

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