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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match. [/quote]

How am I small minded? Because I call MILs out on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how you react when your mil does the same thing.[/quote]

So let's be clear here. It's Mils's business to ask how your pregnancy is going. if you are feeling well if you are tired? However it's not her business to ask how her son is doing?  If she asks after her son she is judging you and your marriage.

Do I have this correct?[/quote]

My point is that I had a super rough pregnancy and labor which is a lot more than her son went through yet she didn’t seem to care about me at all because she never asked but her son seems tired which is a natural thing for a first time parent of a young baby and she acts concerned about.

Also interesting how we were together all day and then she waifs until I leave the room to ask my husband that question.

That’s the part that really stuck out to me that it was her passive aggressive way of hinting that I’m not doing enough.[/quote]

Oh so you're a controlling narcissist..  This entire thing makes sense now[/quote]

How am I a controlling narcissist? I told you my mil didn’t ask about me at all and a tough pregnancy and labor is a lot more serious than seeming tired.

That’s what bothered me she seemed to only view me as an incubator for her grandchild.

So her precious baby boy is tied. It’s not good mil to not show any concern for your DIl.[/quote]

Where are your parents? Are they scared of you too?[/quote]

Because I’m upset people must be afraid of me.[/quote]

Well, where are your parents?[/quote]

Why is that relevant? They live on the other side of the country.[/quote]

So they didn't bother to come out to help you postpartum? No phone calls? Nothing? Or did you forbid that because you wanted to do it all on your own  and it would be this great fun bonding time. But that's not reality, and now you realize you that it's not working you lash at your MIL[/quote]

My mom wanted to come out but I[b] said no because my husband and I can handle it.[/b] She came out for a week when the baby was 2 months old.[/quote]

As I thought. Narcissitc control freak. [/quote]

So wouldn’t it be worse if I didn’t apply the rules to both mil and my own mother?

A control freak? This is my own child. Don’t I as a mother have a right to say who and when can be around my child?

This is my own mother. Who else would make that decision?[/quote]

Hmmm. Do mothers have a right or not? If you have the right now, at what point do you lose that right?[/quote]

My mother doesn’t have more rights to my child than I do.[/quote]

Interesting. Do you cease to be a mom when he gets married? [/quote]

Umm no? But I know that I certainly won’t come before his wife or husband if he has one. And I know for sure it’s not my place to get involved in my grown son’s marriage either. I will know my place.[/quote]

Telling your child they look tired is not “coming between” a marriage.[/quote]

Then why wait until the wife isn’t around to say it? There is clearly a deeper motive there.

Also what’s her point in saying that? Does she hope her son will open up to her and say, “yes mom I’m so tired my wife makes me do my fair share in parenting as the child’s father.”

I’m tired too you know but mil didn’t give a rats ass about that.[/quote]

Why no. Not everyone plans their conversations. Are they not supposed to speak when you leave the room?

There is no deeper motive she thought her son looked tired and she said well you look tired.

The point is for him to say yes while I’m tired thanks for noticing. I love you too.

Nobody is saying if your husband is tired that he’s being asked to do too much that’s kind of insane with thinking.

Are you saying that your husband can never be tired and if he is that you’re failing as a wife?

You know if she would’ve said wow you look tired you would’ve been so upset that she’s saying you look terrible or something. You would be like of course I’m tired I have a four month old. How dare you point that out?[/quote]

I guess yea if my husband looks overly tired in my mind that means I am not doing enough of the mothering.

Also why would my husband thank his mother for noticing he seems tired. If looking tired isn’t a good characteristic? She isn’t saying you look handsome.

Also it would be super shitty of my husband to thank his mom for noticing he looks tired when he knows his mom didn’t care about his wife. He would be signing off on the behavior that it’s ok for his mom to not care about his wife. When his mom mentioned he looked tired I’m wondering why my husband didn’t immediately ask his mom and take up for his wife asking why when I went through hell with my pregnancy she didn’t ask about me.

And again she didn’t take the time to check on me or show concern when I was going through the difficult pregnancy.[/quote]

She is still allowed to ask him if he's tired. You're just not that important, the world doesn't revolve around you. [/quote]

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