Reply to Vent about marrying someone from a very underdeveloped country

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Visiting anyone for a month is difficult.

[b]Living in a poor rural area is difficult[/b], more so if you don't know language and local culture.

Living with In-laws is difficult.

Traveling with young kids and uncooperative spouse is difficult.

I do have some questions.

Why you didn't visit before marrying him?
[b]
Why you didn't research and prepare yourself?[/b]

Treat it as an adventure. Next time tell DH that either trip has to be shorter or he needs to let you pack accordingly.

At least you've good internet service and in-laws are nice.

I'm also from a third world country though middle class and from a big city, even i would have problems living in a poor rural town with a DH who is not helping find solutions because he is trying to prove something to his people.

You can have these discussions with DH later,for now make lemonade with your given lemons.
[/quote]

Your premise is incorrect. She is not in a poor rural town. This is not her first trip. She is in a fairly large town with all sorts of amenities available to her. Her ILs are not poor. Based on the pictures posted, they're at least middle class. She seems to have good internet. She claims she's lying awake hungry, not because there is no food, but because she refuses to eat it. And who the hell takes an electric pancake maker to a country with incompatible voltage requirements, when all you really need is a griddle (which, any home that makes parathas will have)? Either OP is incredibly stupid, or a troll. I suspect the latter.[/quote]

For op it feels poor and rural. Op can take what she needs go feel comfortable. A mini pancake maker is fine. Cleaning and lighting the gas stove manually will be harder for someone who grew up in the US. She also probably doesn't want to deal with tap water. Foreigners are advised to stay away from it. [b]If I ended up sick in the hospital with IVs for 11 days I wouldn't go back. [/b]She's trying to make it work. I'm sure if her in-laws visit the US they will only eat Asian food. How is this any different?   
[/quote]

IIRC, she got sick from something that she should have gotten the vaccine for, the last time. I don't think it was anything like food poisoning. [/quote]

What are you trying to prove exactly? Why are you insisting her kids and her eat food they don't want to? Leave them alone. Perhaps they don't want to eat "simple foods" because they are too bland for them. When Indian visit the US no one is forcing them to eat Western food. It's very hypocritical to expect this. Op didn't decide to go there as a tourist. People who do that are more open to eating other food. She was obligated to go there and was constantly told they could get sick and to be careful. That doesn't sound like a relaxing vacation for me. [/quote]

Not trying to prove anything. Just that OP is saying things like how she got sick and ended up in the hospital, as if it's the food that did it. OP is complaining about staying awake because she's hungry. If food is available and she's refusing to eat it, that's a her problem, not one of the country or her ILs. She isn't eating foods because they're too bland, but because they're too spicy. I'm willing to bet she's at liberty to cook, or hell, even tell the ILs to tone down the spice. My ILs used to do that when DD was little, so she could eat their food (it's something pretty much every Indian family does, if they have little ones, and culturally, Bangladeshis are similar).

OP just likes to make a fuss. She isn't interested in what she can do to make the experience more pleasant.[/quote]

Because she's not indian or Indian American. Stop trying to compare  yourself. Maybe op hates all Indian food. [i]Maybe her husband hates American food.[/i] Stop getting so fixated on food. It's her choice. Food is very personal. I have noticed Indians are too obsessed with food intake. [/quote]

DP, not the one you're responding to, but earlier in the thread OP said her DH does not eat Bangladeshi food back here in the U.S. I have the impression it's not because he can't find it anywhere but because (1) she also said he does not cook (at all, apparently) and (2) he really seems to have a thing about wanting to seem super Bangladeshi when he's with his family there but not especially interested in his heritage when he's back here. She's noted a couple of times things like his lack of interest in getting the kids authentic clothes from his country, etc. [/quote]

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