Reply to Giving up on Gentle Parenting

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And what if you don’t have anyone to give you a break? Like millions of parents?

It’s not my situation but it’s the reality for many. I’d say it’s the norm.

So we can do this exhausting dance of parenting or we can the time out. Timeout all the way. [/quote]

Yes, and this is why a lot of parents hit their kids or scream at them to get them to comply with behavioral expectations. Because they are stretched too thin, have no support, and have no idea what else to do.

Also I don't know where you guys are getting that time outs are against gentle parenting. Gentle parenting would frown on yelling at a kid "go to your room!" after misbehavior. But a parent saying "okay I can see you are struggling not to hit right now, I'm going to put you in your room where you can't hurt anyone until you are ready to stop hitting" would be in line with gentle parenting.[/quote]

Fewer words work better for kids than more.  All that blather is ineffective.[/quote]

the “blather” is actually the core of the philosophy. they believe that a set of magical words (that must be said with the correct emotion) will teach the child. [/quote]

One technique I learned from gentle parenting was to say nothing. To simple sit calmly near my kid when they were melting down, or to ask if they needed a hug and then say nothing else. Again, this is a gentle parenting technique. No "blather." It's about emotional regulation, it's not about following a script and pretending to be calm when you are actually enraged. At the core of gentle parenting is the idea that your kid can tell when you are angry and frustrated even if you don't tell them.[/quote]

for the eightieth million time. “gentle parenting” no doubt overlaps with clinical, empirically tested parenting techniques. not talking while a child is actively tantruming and planned ignoring is pretty typical parenting advice. what distinguishes “gentle parenting” from evidence-based practices is that its primary practitioners (eg Lansbury and “Dr Becky”) REJECT practices that are at the core of the gold standard practices like PCIT - time outs, incentive charts with positive rewards. [/quote]

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