Reply to DS14 said something very rude and ungrateful during the holidays and I still don’t know if we handle it well

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Reply to "DS14 said something very rude and ungrateful during the holidays and I still don’t know if we handle it well "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s weird your FIL doesn’t understand the kids woukd like something tangible at Xmas.

How hard would it be to put in a $25 or $50 amazon card.

Hey kids I’ve made more contributions to your college fund for your future. I know you wont need that till you’re 18. So please buy yourself something fun from Amazon too.

Just hold back $50 bucks contribution and get gift cards. That’s a much nicer thing to do and the kids look forward to their Amazon gifts too.

[/quote]

You’re the problem[/quote]

Since we have all established that the kid was rude and ungrateful, it is not wrong to also posit that the grandfather is kind of a d!ck. Every birthday and Christmas, he gets to remind his grandkids that he is the kindly benefactor and dismiss the joy of gift giving in these situations. The PP's suggestion is what I would do--put a little less in the 529s so the grandkids could have real, tangible memories and mementos of me throughout their lives---not just one big gift at the end.

This really seems like a control issue from the grandfather and I would bet MY kid's 529 he is not a great grandparent otherwise and there are lots of other issues.[/quote]

I totally agree. If it was my kid, I would have, well before it got to this point, let the kid know that this is what was going on. I also would clearly communicate that everyone has their baggage and I the grandfathers actions probably come from a place of insecurity, and we still need to be kind and grateful for any gift even if it has interior motives. Kids are going to encounter lots of people and situations like this and I think we should teach them how to manage and love others no matter what, especially family. But it seems like a lot of people just expect this kid to play pretend which I don’t think is reasonable. Adolescents aren’t stupid.

I think if I was OP I would a) teach the kid about wealth inequality and unearned privilege (sorry I know DCUM people hate thar word but it fits) b) talk to him about how even imperfect people deserve our love and kindness and suggest he write an apology letter and do something nice for the grandpa, like mow his lawn or bake him cookies (but I’d want it to be sincere)  c) hold firm on the punishments already given. [/quote]

Ha ha ha you people are just too much.  You really are. [/quote]

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