Reply to What is it with people given childless couples unsolicited fertility advice?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm 36 and husband is 34. We got married four years ago and still have no children because our financial situation isn't great at the moment. When people learn we're childless, they start making comments about how I shouldn't delay motherhood or at least freeze my eggs. The most infuriating things is that these people aren't even close family members or friends, they're acquaintances or some uncle/cousin I haven't seen in more than 10 years. I let them know that there's no reason to bring up the topic and leave it at that, but there's almost always somebody else who brings it later.

I'm aware that at my age, I might have troubles conceiving, especially if I have undiagnosed fertility issues, but the other option is having a baby that we won't able to support, so we're willing to risk it.

Why are some people so obsessed with the fertility of a couple whose kids they're not gonna raise or financially support?[/quote]

People give you advice because it seems you need it.

If you didnt want kids that would be one thing. But if youre in your mid 30s and want kids but are holding out because you think your income is too low then you are making a very poor decision. [/quote]

Wanting kids under certain conditions is not making poor decisions, it's prioritizing other things that in OP's case seem to be her lifrstyle. You seem to lack the ability to see naunce, or to be in a position to not understand how can people have priorities other than children.[/quote]

What is going to happen in the next few years, before she ages out, to make OP think she can afford kids? If the answer is "nothing", she doesn't want kids. Cool! "I don't want kids." End of conversation, or keep repeating it.  If the answer is "I might get a pay raise"....really? That's going to shift you from not wanting kids to wanting kids? No. C'mon. The effect of having kids on your life is enormous. Positive and negative! It's not going to be *that* different because of any financial changes that are actually likely to happen to OP in the next few years, unless there's a possible massive inheritance she hasn't mentioned. That's what people are picking up on. [/quote]

Which is why OP said the will not have k8ds if things for her don't change. You guys are the ones obsessed with the possibility that she might be childless.[/quote]

Then all she has to do is say "I don't want kids." Pause. Repeat it if they keep going. [/quote]

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