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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am divorced and DCs have a good, positive relationship with exILs. For years they said that once they go to college, they have money set aside for them and that (their words) "they should be fine". Well, lo' and behold, my eldest got accepted into college. For the past 2 weeks I've been trying to have a conversation with exILs about college, tuition, room/board. They acted all surprised when DC called them to let them know he got accepted. I do have 529 plans for all my kids but again, they made both verbal and written promises (via emails and texts) they would contribute to their college education. They are dodging my calls and texts, they are now dodging his calls, and these are the same people who used to text or call several times a week. No, they are not ill or on vacation.

Are they trying to renege on their promise? Is there anything I can/should do? This is awkward. I certainly didn't force them to make these promises but hey, put your money where your mouth is. [/quote]

Don't ever expect anyone else to pay for your kids college.  Have your kid apply for scholarships NOW. Fill out the FAFSA and have your husbands info on there too if it will help with more aid. I always say this, my mom has said the same thing, but I am acting like my kid will get 0 from her.  If she ends up giving college money, great (she set up a 529 I saw it but she wont let me access it or see how it is doing), but we have our own 529 and are acting like our kid gets nothing from her.  I also do this because I worry she will do what my grandparents did to me.  See below.

My mom was a single mom, my dad died and his parents helped 0.  My maternal grandparents offered to help (and did) with college, but I had to go to their college of choice.  I was miserable and I wonder what would have happened if people communicated that when I was say 16 (I was told when I got my college acceptances I had no choice had to go to X college bc grandparents paid tuition and I paid room, board, books by working) I would have done things differently.  My family gives with conditions, and I won't play those games anymore.  Life is too short.

If you want ask them in writing reply to an email they sent about it (emails are legally binding ) saying something along the lines of, "We are so excited that Suzie got into X college!  You have mentioned and said many times you would contribute to our children's college and as we apply for scholarships and financial aid I need to know the specific amounts you intent to contribute each year.  Many thanks." You need to be very specific.  Also, where is your ex?  why aren't they talking to your ex-IL? I wonder if they have used that money to help their son and his new kids.  [/quote]

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