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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ugh.  While I sympathize, this woman has wreaked operational havoc on the schools her children have attended.  I know one AP who spent her summer dealing with document requests from her instead of working on things that were needed to open school in the fall. [/quote]

She was an "advocate" for one of the students in my lower ES class. She and the mom of the child were nasty from the second we sat down in an initial meeting. I typically walk into a meeting and present a pleasant greeting and small talk. Neither would make eye contact, let alone smile. They interrupted and they looked for any opportunity to find a "gotcha" moment. I remember trying to point out some positives about the child's academic work and they didn't want to hear it. It was all very negative and stressful when all I wanted to do was work with the parent in support of the child.[/quote]

Nobody owes you pleasantries especially during a stressful time. Your focus once you walk in that room should be identifying problems and solutions to help that child. The parent (or child if they are present) should be the lead voice of the meeting, if they find it necessary to interrupt anyone then so be it. Sounds like you weren’t being helpful and they were trying to best utilize the time and keep the focus on identifying concerns and solutions. An advocate is there to help advocate for the child/parent and step in when they need to keep the focus on problems and solutions, it sounds like they  did that. If something offended you then you should use it as a learning experience for how to conduct yourself differently next time. A productive IEP will skew negative and stressful in general, so you might need to change your expectations. I hope you keep the bad mouthing of other advocates and parents to yourself though, it’s  really not a good look for a teacher.[/quote]

You are so wrong. Even in an IEP meeting “identifying problems and solutions,” it is unacceptable for anyone at the table to be rude, hostile, verbally abusive, mean, or unprofessional. anyone. The fact that parents think it is acceptable is wrong. In no other setting or situation is this acceptable. Nor is it effective.

You can be effective, advocate, and disagree without being hostile, verbally abusive, or attacking. [/quote]

Perhaps teachers, particularly when an advocate is involved, should approach meetings in a similar way. Zero pleasantries, minimal eye contact. Interrupt when necessary. If the committee is coming up with unrealistic goals, or the parent and advocate are pushing for services you know can’t be met or provided within reason, dissent on the decision.

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I assume teachers and admins think they are perfect during meetings?[/quote]

No, but apparently some advocates see any amount of cordiality and pleasantries as weakness.[/quote]

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