Reply to DD only kid in her friend group not invited

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ugh, I feel this tonight. No school in VA tomorrow and my 9th grade DD just discovered that her core group of 7 friends are having a sleepover without her. I’m so sad for her right now. [/quote]

Why would kids do this? Is it deliberate cruelty?[/quote]

I'm the one with excluded DD - it seems to me it's sending a message. There must be at least one person in the group who doesn't like her and doesn't want her there. I have my guesses as to whom. But it sucks even more because my DD is the one who connected the two smaller groups to become this larger one, so now she is floundering.

I totally understand that this happens and the friend groups are very fluid in high school, but it is pretty hard when it's happening to your kid. I appreciate the sympathy and people letting me vent anonymously since I would never say anything to the parents. There really isn't any solution for her other than forging ahead and branching out a bit.  [/quote]

[b]I’ve found there is usually one person in a group who creates this environment and fosters it.[/b] The other girls aren’t immune from hearing misinformation and reacting to it (the one girl will talk about the one she wants to oust in a way that makes the other girls think she doesn’t like them etc).

If it makes you feel better I have a sophomore and the girl who was this “friend” for my daughter - she continued this pattern from middle school into sophomore year and now people have figured it out about her and have cut her out of friendship groups bc they recognize that she’s the one creating these problems and they don’t want that drama in their lives. [/quote]

100% accurate. I know who that one is, in our case. It is very, very hard to be civil to this kid or the family. [/quote]

Excluded DD poster here again. I talked to my daughter--we are pretty sure this is exactly what's happening and she is going to continue being excluded. We'll see what happens. In the meantime, she plays a sport year-round and luckily has friends from that team, but she's also going to work on cultivating other friends.

Thanks to all for your kind words and advice. It's really helpful. [/quote]

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