Reply to Just accepting unequal division of labor

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’d have a conversation about chore division, agree on the division, and then make checklists that you hang on the fridge or wherever it is he goes most and will see it. [b]And completely feel free to remind him after the kids are in bed to go do whatever is on his list.[/b] [/quote]

This is so annoying though. Having to remind someone to do their share of the work is just more exhausting than doing the chores yourself. [/quote]

Get real!  Reminding someone to go shovel the driveway or clean the bathrooms or go buy all the stuff on this list at the grocery store is not even close to being “more exhausting” than doing it yourself.

Some people need to be micromanaged.  It’s not ideal but there is no need to be overly dramatic about what a hardship it is for their handler…[/quote]

Adding “micromanager” on top of everything else is indeed exhausting. Especially when the man never does what he agrees to do then accuses the wife of “nagging” and not “asking”
nicely enough. Then as a last resort claims the wife is being “crazy” for thinking the thing needs to be done. 
I would not mind asking at all if DH actually just did the thing. But he does not, and makes it very unpleasant. This is the actual dynamic that ends up with the mom as a default parent - she gives up asking and micromanaging because DH makes it very unpleasant and it becomes easier to just do everything. [/quote]

This! My DH gets so mad if I tell him to do anything. I MUST ask. But he also views asks as things he can say no to for any reason. [b]"Can you give DD a bath?" "No, I'm playing a video game right now."[/b] Dude, it's 6 pm on a weekday and I'm making dinner, this is not an optional request.

Sometimes even when I ask he gets mad. "I feel like you think I work for you." No, you definitely don't work for me, if you did I would fire you for being so freaking lazy. I'm trying to get you to help me out on the shared project we undertook together, but You've decided is my thing for some reason.[/quote]

Say what now?!?! Please tell me that is not a real story.

I am a guy, work long hours in a stressful job, and my wife is a SAHM, and there is no way in hell I would even think to do that. Maybe it's my age (mid 40s), but I cannot imagine playing video games much at all, much less while my wife is working on getting dinner going. That's crazy.[/quote]

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