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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]no our kids do not know but they know that mom goes out with friends to do things because dad is a homebody and doesn't like to go out[/quote]

Open only for you or also DH? [/quote]

Mutually open, he just doesn't date or have interest in dating people.  He isn't going to give any woman he meets the quality time and the kind of connection most women will want.  Same problem we had that got us here to begin with.  When we have talked about how things are going he has shared that he has hooked up with people when out of town at college reunions or when on travel.  His happy place is just working, taking care of his kids, getting some low effort sex and being left alone otherwise.  I've opted out of being his low effort easy access orfice and am enjoying having companionship and conversation and others things that I need while dating and being seen as a whole interesting fun human to hang out with again.  I've actually tried to help give him advice to help him out on the dating scene but women and relationships are clearly not a priority to him beyond fulfilling a functional physical need periodically.

[/quote]

Wow, OP, your marriage (pre-opening) sounds so similar to mine.  My DH was able to mask very well by hyperfocusing on me until we were married, but he’s really not interested in me at all aside from occasionally being resentful that I am not his convenient orifice.  But he enjoys sharing a home and our child together.  He likes cooking and taking care of things.  He just doesn’t like…me, or anyone, very much.  I suspect he is on the spectrum but he is incredibly defensive and uninterested in introspection.  He’s got a very low sex drive generally so gets by by himself mostly, and he’d be fine with some easy hook ups a few times a year at most.  I miss having someone actually interested in me.  Your arrangement might work in the short term (like, a few years) for me.  But I think divorce would be easier in the long run if it weren’t so financially devastating.  I’d be delighted to live separately and see each other to catch up occasionally if we could afford it.[/quote]

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