Reply to AITA for not wanting DH to give MIL 4K to clear a debt

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes help her! She's your DH's mom!

Also, FWIW, there are plenty on here questioning your financial choices OP. God forbid, you need money in the future and your child's spouse makes judgements and refuses to help you out. [/quote]

Exactly how much of their savings do you think MIL is entitled to?  OMG, she's his mom! Give her the whole $40K! Give her his whole paycheck, why not? Let her have whatever she wants for her MLM "business". Your family can move into a studio apartment with the kids. It will be great. [/quote]

She's not entitled to anything but OP's husband has respectfully asked OP to do this for his mother. The kind thing to do (towards both the husband and the mother) is to give the 4k. [/quote]

The kind thing for the mother to do would be to get a job and to make better choices so that she doesn't burden her adult children with her problems while they are trying to raise their own families.

The kind thing for the husband to do would be to propose a realistic plan that helps his mother without causing his own family financial problems. But this DH has had his head in the sand and now is wanting to hand over 10% of their savings with no plan, no strings attached, and no understanding of the fact that he is *already* living above his means and can't afford to do this. Kindness my foot, whatever happened to responsibility?[/quote]

The good news is there are SO MANY businesses out there looking to hire 70 year olds with spotty work histories for high paying jobs. It's just that easy![/quote]

I'm not saying she can make a lot of money. But surely there is *some* paid work she can do. If she can babysit her grandchild, then she can find a simiar babysitting job this summer, for example. Even if she just babysits once a week, it would cover her groceries. If she is not capable of babysitting, SIL needs to be notified immediately.[/quote]

I don't know who's going to hire a 70 year old to babysit - but we don't have any reason to believe she's not already covering her own groceries. She has SS coming in.[/quote]

SIL is going to hire her to babysit, right? Right?

I think to want money without making *any* effort towards earning is gauche, entitled, and ungrateful. If this MLM is "work", I would want to know how much she has earned, and how much debt she has taken on to participate in the MLM. I think if OP's DH starts poking around, he'll find a lot of little surprises like that.[/quote]

If my mother was desperate, I'd 'pay' her to watch my kids. I am not hiring a random 69 year old to do the same thing because if I'm paying a babysitter, I want one who can keep up with kids. [/quote]

Also just flagging PPP's use of the word "gauche" here - so she thinks this woman's husband's mother is tacky and low class, and that's why she doesn't deserve her son to help her.

Meanwhile over in another thread some OP's just been given two million for a house by a family member, but that's just normal. If someone really needs the help, it's tacky to give it - if they don't, it's just rich people preserving intergenerational wealth.[/quote]

No, wanting money without even trying to earn money is what's tacky and gauche. It's not tacky to be poor. It's tacky to expect help while not even trying to help yourself.[/quote]

The mother didn't ask for help. Her kids decided between themselves to give it. [/quote]

But she will ask for help just as soon as she runs out of cash. And you know that.[/quote]

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