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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My Boomer dad was fine, but I had a terrible relationship with my Boomer mom growing up. She had a lot of anger issues and blamed me for things that were not my fault. She also criticized my weight frequently.

However, she became very different after I grew up. I strongly suspect it coincides with starting SSRIs. She is incredibly sweet now, and incredibly helpful and hands-on with my children. We are very close (geographically and emotionally) and see each other several times a week. Ironically I am closer to her now than my dad, which I would have thought impossible 20 years ago.[/quote]

There are some comments on this thread about boomer parents - both male and female - who, according to the person writing the comments, had anger issues, had explosive personalities, were authoritarian, etc.

Why??? Why were these people so angry? Were they always angry and difficult people, or did they change at some point in their lives?[/quote]
Again,  there's confusion about generations. Boomers were far more permissive than the previous.  Our kids were in day care, both spouses worked. Much more lenient. Remember? The kids all got trophies. 
Millennial parenting is more lax than that, gentle parenting,  so it looks like the previous generation was strict.  It wasn't.  [/quote]

You are assuming that parenting is equal across generations. It isn't. It's not equal across Millennial parents and it wasn't across Boomers.

There's also a misunderstanding about parenting styles and their impact. My Boomer parents were both permissive AND authoritarian. It was a 1-2 punch that was particularly frustrating. They'd be like "do what you want" and not create rules or boundaries, because they grew up in extremely rules-bound (but also abusive) households and didn't want to repeat that. But then if we did something they didn't like, even took a tone they didn't like or dressed in a way they didn't like, they'd resort to draconian punishments -- hitting, grounding, removal of privileges.

What you refer to as "gentle parenting" has actually always been around -- I know a number of millennial who were raised this way and I think their boomer parents probably were, too. It is not permissive and does actually involve rules and boundaries (which also might be framed as "clear expectations and accountability). Because expectations are clear and the parents in the household hold themselves to the same standards, when boundaries are crossed you don't resort to anger and punishment. You sit down and talk. There are consequences, but they aren't "punishments" like grounding and definitely not hitting. They are, when possible, natural consequences, and when not possible, as closely linked to the transgression as possible. It's call "authoritative parenting" and its what most child behavior experts now recommend.

A lot of Boomers lacked the emotional maturity to parent that way, though, in many cases because they are the product of traumatic upbringings. Their parents lived through wars and the Great Depression, domestic abuse and substance abuse were very common in post-WWII households, plus people had PTSD and other issues that simply went unaddressed. So they became dysfunctional parents like mine, unable to set clear boundaries with their kids but also tending to resort to violent or "strict" punishments when pushed.

It's all way more complicated than some of you are making it out to be. The idea that it's "Boomers were strict and Millennial are permissive" or "Boomers were permissive and Millennials are spoiled" is a vast oversimplification that ignores a bunch of factors and variation both within and between generations.[/quote]

I'm not the one confusing it. Most millennials on this thread are, and continually bringing up incorrect swaths of  age related culture.  They are also likely confusing socioeconomic aspects within generations. 
Re: gentle parenting.  Style yes, for previous  times,  but as a thing, no, this is totally a "now" push, supported by social media,  which we didn't have. And- it's not really going well. Ask any teacher.Wait...they are all quitting,  Get on those threads to ask why. [/quote]

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