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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow, OP. My daughter is like the child you are describing and she is very shy/has social anxiety. We have been working really, really hard on getting her to wave back to people who say hi to her, to look at people when they talk to her, etc., but it has been really, really hard. One thing I tell her is that unfortunately, other kids are going to think she's rude for not saying hello back to them, but she's not TRYING to be mean or TRYING to be rude, she just really has a hard time in social situations.

Fortunately for my daughter, the kids in her grade ARE very kind and have a lot of empathy towards her. There are several whose parents have clearly explained to them that my daughter is not mean, she's just very shy, and they keep saying hi, and she has finally started looking up and saying hi back to them.

I'm glad to live in an area with people who are kind and have empathy and not around people like you who just automatically assume the worst of people.[/quote]

For every kid with a story like this there are dozens of kids who are just rude.  I've seen it with my own eyes.  They are perfectly capable of greeting others when it suits them and then rude some of the time.

It's not assuming the worst, it's assuming what's likely going on which is what we all do every day in countless situations.

[/quote]

Sure, so some kinds are rude and some kids aren't. You can either decide to assume they're rude, which is what OP has done, and be upset about it, or you could assume the best about them and decide there is something else going on that isn't your problem or your business nd let it go. [/quote]

OP and her daughter should let it go IRRESPECTIVE of what's going on with the other girl!  The percentage of kids who are so cripplingly shy or anxious that they can't muster a wave from the top of their driveway is very tiny.  Such extreme shyness or anxiety would have also surely manifested itself in other ways at school that OP or her DD would have noticed, but OP says the girl has plenty of friends.  So, really, in all likelihood this girl doesn't want to talk to OP's DD and is accomplishing that by being rude and ignoring her.

Here's my personal take -- and it is based on the fact that the DD is still "visibly upset" about this after eight months... the DD is one of those people who offends very easily and moans and groans and creates drama over every small slight, perceived or real.  Even kind and inclusive-minded kids can't help but understandably get annoyed and frustrated by that personality type, so they distance themselves from them.  [/quote]

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