Reply to If there is a SAH spouse, are finances truly equal?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The finances aren't equal because the SAH spouse is legally the dependent. You can't be equal while being dependent.[/quote]

yes you can.  We are wealthy, and I have full access to all our money.  I even manage it.  If needed I would get half in a divorce after 35+ years of marriage.  What one earns goes into the pot that we all share equally.  However, that requires you to have an adult relationship where you communicate with each other---if you want to purchase something you discuss it (if outside of a reasonable range---I spend $500-1000 without any concern more than mentioning it.  For a large purchase we will discuss more so because that's what we have always done, starting from when we were poor and had to make good fiscal decisions.  So now we typically discuss stuff but normally it's more just to keep the other informed, not as a true decision making event.  We both are 99% on the same page for spending money (we are still frugal).

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See, here’s the thing: that’s not equal. That’s you taking advantage (financially) of your husband. If I go to work every day to make a living, and my neighbor sits on his couch playing video games all day, then the government takes half of my paycheck and gives it to him, that arrangement is a lot of things but “equal” isn’t one of them.

Maybe the arrangement makes sense for a given couple. Maybe you make up for it in other ways (though I seriously doubt it, being familiar with many SAHMs). But let’s not call it financially equal or equitable. (That would be the case if you had discretion over the portion of your DH’s income attributable to the implied dollar value of your labor. And if you’re anything like the other SAHMs in this thread, that likely consists of a few minimum wage tasks like driving people around. Good luck buying a $60k car for your parents on that.) [/quote]

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