Reply to Sorry but your stinky eye won't make my crying toddler shut up...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]you're absolutely right and I'm not arguing that. my main question was, what goes on on people's head when they see a helpless mom trying to stop a child who's misbehaving and give them an ugly look or make nasty comments? seeing the embarrassed parent struggling is not bad enough forthem?

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, your mistake is that in this one incident, you taught your daughter the lesson that if she screams and yells, mommy will run around like a crazy person trying to give her what she wants.  In my opinion that is a BIG mistake.  In your shoes, the minute my child started kicking up, I would have taken her outside, told her firmly that she is not allowed to scream like that, and that she could have the ipod when she was quiet and prepared to behave.  If you don't start this kind of discipline with a toddler, it won't magically happen at age 4 or 14.  You have to start laying the foundation for her respecting you NOW.  Perhaps the look you got was not just because your toddler was screaming, but because you let it go on while you tried to appease her.  As a parent, my first priority was always to teach my kids the lesson that they could not act up, particularly in public.  I only had to do this 2 or 3 times with each of my kids (the only place it is hard to execute is an airplane) before I could put a stop to any misbehavior with a mere threat of "are we going to have to leave this store?" and now they are two of the most nicely behaved kids you can imagine.  At 10 and 7, they understand that whining or having a fit will not work EVER.  Don't negotiate with terrorists!  [/quote]

op here. this is usually the approach i take. unfortunately, at that moment my priority was shut her up the fastest way possible so the infant would not start screaming too. it took me a long while to put him to sleep so i could eat my food. once we have the routine with 2 kids figured out i'll definitely go back to the right approach. for now, getting fed is a priority. sorry i had to put patrons through this and the fact that i was embarrassed with her behavior should tell this ugly guy something but clearly some people (like we see here all the time) have no empathy.

even worse, they can't relate with people going through something they faced themselves. and that is really really disturbing.[/quote]

OP, I know it is no use trying to explain to you why you are getting the response you are but here goes. I would bet a lot of parents have been in your shoes, stuff happens and kids get upset. Your first post was somewhat harmless but your other responses have a huge sense of entitlement. My favorite part about your post is that this man who didn't enjoy your screaming children making him ugly and how one day he will feel sorry- not everyone wants to have kids, if he gave your child the stink eye for getting upset after 30 seconds I am gonna guess he will never be in your shoes.

I think there are plenty of tired and stressed parents here who have more [b]empathy[/b] for the people around them and therefore do not take their children out to eat. My  best friend (single mom) hasn't been able to enjoy a meal at a restaurant for 2 years now. I personally do not have kids but I would not give a mom of a upset child the stink eye unless I thought they were doing nothing to correct the situation (or worse running around escalating it.) You say you were embarrassed and also upset, do you think that perhaps you were making a scene worse?

[/quote][/quote]

My point was it seems you are unaware or don't care about [b]your[/b] behavior- you act like it was the way the child was acting that bothered this man- after reading this whole thread I believe it was a reaction to you acting like you owned the place. I think when most people see helpless moms, even when they are not parents themselves feel some empathy for them, unless of course there are being PITAs themselves. [/quote]

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