Reply to DH won't use any inheritance for a house

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If your parents are so helpful, why don’t they help you with money for a house?  Your husband’s concerns about his brother are very valid.[/quote]

OP here.  They have already helped us with the down payment on my current house.  I could ask them for money from a trust for the next house, but because they are very fair people, they would also insist on making distributions of the same amount to my brothers.  I don't really want them to do that--mainly because one brother has a serious gold digger wife who is also abusive and the infusions of cash over the years have only serve to keep her in the marriage.[/quote]

OP, what's your plan for your BIL's care?[/quote]

It’s not OP’s role to plan for BIL’s care. Her DH and MIL need to come up with something that would work for their family. Every single post on DCUM talking about IL issues always tell the poster to stay out of it and let the spouse and their family handle it.  [/quote]

Yeah, the husband is handling it by not commingling the marital assets. He seems to know what he is doing.  [/quote]

And I think OP should do the same. Every single poster who has blasted OP for having family wealth would happily trade places with her in a second to have the financial assistance she does. I’m surprised at how vitriolic this thread is towards OP when there are numerous threads on DCUM of people who are flat out EXHAUSTED from trying to work FT, take care of kids, and concerned about underfunded 529s.

Not sure if OP is in the DMV, but houses in places like SF or LA are way more expensive than your Toll Brothers McMansion in Loudon County. You’re looking at $2M for a 3 BR ranch that people on DCUM commonly refer to as a crapshack.

Meetings with a therapist and financial planner are critical here. If your DH still insists on keeping his inheritance separate after that, well, you have your answer OP.

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