Reply to Anyone else here struggle with your feelings about ppl who don’t work?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I went down a rabbit hole of femininity podcasts and Laura Doyle books. I have had a very high profile career but always struggled with the fact that I was doing a grinding full time job on top of all the SAHM things. My husband does not step up and never will, and it’s very difficult to outsource everything. He earns enough to support us and doesn’t need me to work, and, no, I’m not going to upend our family by divorcing him. I know a lot of women in my situation, though few want to admit that their husbands are domestically useless.

Anyway, Laura Doyle makes the interesting point that “women are not smaller less hairy men”. I really WANT to be there for my kids and do “dumb stuff” like plan their birthdays. My husband WANTS to support our family financially. I’m sorry, I know it’s unacceptable to say (except when anonymous), but there are just some big differences between men and women. I’ve cut back on work because I’m tired of fighting my/his innate instincts regarding what our roles are. Life is easier, the whole household works better. Our culture is denying women the ability to just follow our instincts without shame/guilt. [/quote]

Yep.  Though I find it outrageous that this is "unacceptable to say."  Frankly, I have zero qualms about doing what I like to do, which happen to be pretty traditional female roles.  My husband enjoys pretty typical male roles.  It is what it is.  As you said, our whole household works better when we're each doing what we do best - and what we ENJOY doing.  I have no interest in trying to mold myself into a role I don't like and am not interested in.[/quote]

Somehow, the outlier feminists (women who want to make law firm partner, etc - and there is nothing wrong with that, good for them) have inadvertently made the other 80% of our lives a living hell. Now it’s not enough to care for the kids, be reasonably fit, keep a decent home, etc. Now you are a loser unless you are doing all that AND making partner. And we all wonder why women are miserable and bickering. We have been sold a scammy scam. [/quote]

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