Reply to Women expecting other women to be in charge of all holidays/logistics/family dynamics

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
It's part of the new wave of " feminism". Feminism is in quotes because it's not feminism at all.

It's attack and be nasty towards anyone who doesn't do what I want. Mark them as misogynists and  upholders of patriarchy.

Shame all things traditionally considered female as toxic and detrimental unless a male wants to do it.

Uplift anything traditionally male unless a male wants to do it then it's toxic.

Traditional methods of familial bonding are labeled oppressive.

[/quote]

This is absolutely true. You see it in this thread. I enjoy cooking and decorating. So what? [/quote]

As long as:
1) You’re doing it because you want to and enjoy it, not because “hubby” or his family expect it of you
2) You’re not teaching your children that holidays and family dynamics are women’s work, and that men are hapless and exempt. Ask yourself: are you the mom/hostess who asks your daughter to clear the table with you while your son sits with the other men and is literally served and cleaned up after? Be honest.

If you don’t make a point to model balanced family duties and holiday duties, be fully prepared for you son to be totally disengaged in the future, and be willing for your daughter to be totally disinterested in perpetuating holidays that uphold the patriarchy—hopefully she’ll go hiking with her friends and enjoy Chinese food for dinner rather than clearing plates for her brother and uncles [/quote]

Yes, I agree. But there are a lot of posters who think that because a woman enjoys (really enjoys, not just because someone expects her to enjoy) domestic things she's upholding the patriarchy or not a real feminist. That's ridiculous.[/quote]

I agree with you! I like doing several domestic things, but DH and I sit down together before any holiday, family vacation, family visit or what have you, and make a plan. It’s not me in the kitchen while he watches football all day. We balance it so that we’re both contributing, we’re both getting breaks, we’re both getting to spend time with family, or we’re both getting time to avoid family! (I’m not saying he doesn’t watch ANY football, for example.) [/quote]

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