Reply to MIL mad that we changed the door code without telling her

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are just creating issues where they don’t need to exist. You said yourself she left the house with your not knowing she was there. She’s not trashing the place, forgetting to lock the door, or doing much of anything probably. I imagine she uses the bathroom, takes a cat nap or watches tv on the couch, drinks some water or grabs a soda and leaves. That’s what mine usually does. Stop making it an issue and let her in. I would much rather give my mother a key than have her drive back home if she needs a rest. That’s just terrible for you not to be mindful of her safety and well-being as she gets older. [/quote]

or like mine and goes through every single personal item she has time to get her hands on.  I've seen neighbors do the same.

I can't imagine giving my key or key code to anyone else.

There was an older couple in my neighborhood when I bought my first house who expected everyone to give them keys because they "looked out for everyone". When I moved in, they gave me a tour of a neighbor's house who was on vacation. They went into her house many times during that week. Yes, I told on them once I met that neighbor. Everyone trusted them and gave them their keys except for a few of us. They never stole anything that I know of but I know they snooped and told me gossip they gleaned when they would go in the neighbor's houses. They went through bills and saw one neighbors kid was getting counselling.

Once neighbors insisted on giving me a key to their house. I'm trustworthy and never would consider going in to someone's house unless they told me to. I'm pretty certain they were hoping I would do the same. Nope. Within a few months I gave it back and told them there was no reason to have the key.  The truth is you have no way of knowing who will be appropriate and who will take advantage.[/quote]

Wow, that is beyond! What did your neighbors do/say when you told them the other neighbors gave you a house tour and went in their house several times when they were gone?[/quote]

They were mortified. They relied upon this neighbor for help and were uncomfortable saying anything. They changed their front and back door locks and did it when that neighbor was not around.

The couple snooped in another neighbor's house but they were never friendly so I didn't feel comfortable telling them.

They seemed like a couple you would trust.  If you got to know them you could see they had boundary issues. My spouse and I stayed friendly with them but had to put some distance between us. I had a baby and was home on maternity leave and twice they came to my house and actually turned the front door handle to see if they could get in. They would be bothered if they stopped by and I didn't answer the door. The husband was very bothered that we didn't give them keys to our house. We would find them in our back yard all the time when we came home from work. We went to their backyard once when we thought they were out of town and we were having flooding. They were very bothered by that. Here and there we had bbqs with another neighbor and they would let us know how upset they were they weren't invited. I was having work done on my house and the front door was open as the contractors were taking things in and they just walked in and walked around my house while I was upstairs.  I hired a decorator and when they saw her car, they came over to my house and expected to be part of the process. What is crazy is we weren't that close. We helped them because they were older but they acted like they owned us. It was weird and by the time we moved we weren't speaking to them.[/quote]

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