Reply to S/O being excluded from birthday parties

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Reply to "S/O being excluded from birthday parties"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with:
-You are in the right to invite a small group of children to your daughter' party and allow her to pick which ones.  (you mentioned that fewer rather than more of the class got invited).  
-It was right of you to encourage your daughter to invite the other girl (girl B) when she received Girls B's invite.  Your daughter didn't want Girl B there, so fine.

I disagree with:
-You should have told your daughter not to tell the Girl B why she wasn't invited, a simple "we could only have so many people" would have been sufficient. (I would have a different view if the other girl was physically or verbally aggressive, not just told jokes in bad taste) 
-You should not have allowed your daughter to attend Girl B's party.   If Girl B wasn't good enough for your daughter to invite to her party than your daughter should not have taken advantage of Girl B's hospitality.
[/quote]

[quote=Anonymous]I don't understand why people are so up in arms that someone allowed their child to invite just 5 people to her birthday party.  Just because this other girl had a party that same weekend doesn't mean the OP had to change their plans.  She had a 5 person party.  What's the big deal? Are people not allowed to have small parties anymore?  And if you opt for a small party, but someone else didn't, that means you can't go to that party?  That doesn't make sense to me.[/quote]

I am generally siding with OP here. I agree with both of the posters I quoted above. IMO to not invite the other girl and then to not go to her party would seem like a double snub. She was already "snubbed" once (not really because only 5 kids were invited) by not being invited to OP's daughters party, but then to be snubbed a second time by the daughter not going to her party would seem like a second kick to the shins. I don't blame OP's daughter for not inviting her. If she had invited her after receiving the other girl's invite, then the girl would surely have known it was a pity invite and then OTHER girls in the class would have felt bad because they invited her to THEIR party and didn't get invited etc. So it really would have opened up a whole new can of worms to issue a pity invite or "reciprocal" invite as all you raving lunatic pp's call it. She invited 5 and that's that. Maybe the daughter had bad manners in telling the girl her jokes are uncouth and she doesn't like to be around them, but someone was going to tell her sometime, so why not OP's daughter. Why not now? I think she did that girl a favor and if there's fall out from it then they both learned an important lesson. OP's daughter will learn to be nicer and fart joke girl will learn to talk about other things. No harm done. I am a firm believer in guiding kids but not stifling them and allowing them to learn some natural consequences to their behavior.[/quote]

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