Reply to I was so naive re marriage, career and kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think this boils down to poor communication and unrealistic expectations.

My husband and I have a 6 month old and both actively care for him while managing the household and working FT.

6am - My husband and I both wake up at the time - he works out and I get ready for work. 
7am - Baby wakes up and I feed him a bottle and get him dressed for the day while husband gets ready for work. Husband takes over at 7:30 while I eat breakfast. 
8am - I leave for work and the nanny arrives. Husband will prepare food for nanny and get his breakfast while she feeds the baby. 
5pm - I get home from work and relieve nanny. I play with baby and husband stops working at 5:30. He comes out and we spending time as a family playing with our son. 
6pm - One of us will start baby routine and put him to bed while the other cleans up and cooks dinner. We trade off days. 
7pm - Baby is in bed and we eat dinner. We both clean up dinner and leftover baby stuff we need to do.
8pm - We watch tv or sometimes my husband works and I do my own thing. We talk, hang out, and then usually have sex. 
10pm - We go to bed and then do it all over again the next day.

On the weekends we trade off and one of us sleeps in one morning and the other will sleep in the next morning. We trade off taking care of baby while we get things done around the house, workout, run errands, etc. We make sure to talk a. a family walk and spend time together throughout the day where we focus on us and the baby. It does probably help that our baby takes 3 naps - 9-10, 12-2, and 4-4:30 so we do have down time.

We do date night every Saturday. We will sometimes hire a nanny and go out to dinner or we stay in, order take out, and split a bottle of wine. We talk, hang out, and have sex.

Things aren’t perfect and they don’t go always go as planned but we try to both do as much as we can. The important thing is we communicate what we need from each other and if we need a break or time to ourselves. Sometimes that doesn’t work so we will say “ I need to do this now, but you can take a break or have uninterrupted time at X time”.

My husband used to work 50-60 hour weeks and now works 45-50 hour weeks and I work 40. We both do as we can and outsource tasks like housekeeping, getting groceries delivered, and ordering takeout 1-2 times a week.

Sit down and communicate with your husband. I hate to say this but you need to scale back at work and put more effort into family time.

[/quote]

I am sitting here reading this laughing, because this was us and I thought we were so good at life. Careers! Family time! Date nights! And sex, lots of sex. 
Then we had kid #2. 
All I can say, PP, is don't have another kid if you like this great, balanced life you've got now. [/quote]

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