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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. Wow, I never thought there would be so many responses.

The problem with letting the negative consequences play out is that they mostly negatively affect my child and me but not DH. His missed pick-ups, towed cars, time lapses, dead cell phones, failed classes, and lost wallets affect us all in some way. Our most recent therapist said the same thing, to let the consequences play out, but she didn't have a response for how to make sure the repercussions fall on him and not me.

The other day he wasn't answering his phones. His work cell was dead. His personal cell phone was not on him so it rang and rang. I was tempted to call his office phone but did not. Even if aftercare had been calling him, he wouldn't have answered and they would have called me. The worst is I worry when he does this! I worry that he had an accident and then feel guilty for feeling angry!

He's definitely not cheating. We don't need or want a second car. It would have taken me longer to drive to aftercare than to let the rage propel me there anyway.

If it matters, I earn significantly more money than he does, but we're far from rich. If I threw my hands in the air and divorced him, I[b]'d be worried about his ability to afford an apartment.[/b]

I don't think salaries matter, though. The point is that he disappeared when he was supposed to be somewhere, and he's done it several times before, and I'm so tired of it.

[/quote]

I'm a PP with a DH with ADHD.  Gently, his inability to afford an apartment is not your problem and is likely unfounded.  It may not be to the standard he has now or as close to his job as he is now, but there is a huge range of price points.  You are not his keeper.  You are supposed to be a partner and he isn't pulling his weight.  Believe you me, this will kill your relationship. [/quote]

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