Reply to For those well-meaning social workers

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "For those well-meaning social workers"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^^And that's not because the social workers or doctors hate you, OP, or want to make your life miserable, or don't care about you, or her. It's because they CAN'T change it, anymore than you can.

Not without a declaration of incompetence and placement.

I suspect they know that she is not at that point yet, even if you might think she is. I suspect that disconnect is at the root of your anger, but they can't fix it.[/quote]

And as I said, the new hospice is non-profit and thus can take donations. They do so much more and I intend to donate as well from her home proceeds. Why some of you don’t understand there are good and bad hospices and social workers is beyond me, but this is DCUM and there you are! TBH, I find the people in the DC area to be insufferable and plan to leave[/quote]

This really is very hard. I've been through this three times. Yes, there are good and bad staff everywhere. It is not, however, the fault of a social worker that your aunt doesn't qualify for Medicaid. If her assets are over the line, even by a smidgen, then it is too much. Rather than railing against the person, ask them how you can divest the asset in order for her to qualify. And the reality is, if your aunt really is so close to her final days, there is no way she would qualify for Medicaid on such a short turnaround. In the state where I handled this with my parents, I think the state has up to 45 days to make a determination on an application. I can't remember how long it takes after that for there to be an expenditure of funds.

And non profits are often more flexible. They can't and don't violate Medicaid rules, but sometimes have other resources to help a family. I had family members in three different settings. While the staff at the for profit nursing home where my dad lived were all incredibly nice, the overall services at the nonprofit where my mother was for her last years were much, much better. And my older sibling passed away in an county-run adult residential home for individuals with developmental disabilities where they also had hospice in place services. It is very, very hard to get a bed in a physical hospice.

GL to you, OP.[/quote]

Not blaming the social worker about Medicaid. It is what it is. I don’t know where you got that idea? Medicaid has look back rules. My aunt will be gone in a few days, nurse said. A younger retired friend who’s done this before has come to help as paid aide. Godsend. The real issue here is my aunt is so stubborn, she’s refused all places in these very last days,  insisting on staying home, not really understanding the burden she’s placed on me and the dangerous situation she’s placed herself in. [/quote]

[i]The other social worker was only interested in taking everything they could financially because she was not eligible for Medicaid - she just missed the cutoff due to a small pension on top of SS.[/i] Perhaps blame is a stretch but the staff's hands may be tied on what they can do, especially if this hospice is connected to a corporation. Who chose this hospice for your aunt? So hard to get hospice beds, but my experience has been that the non-profit ones are often better simply because care, not return to shareholders, is what guides their mission.[/quote]

That is true - the OTHER social worker threatened to take all her assets if I dared even ask for respite care, which MediCARE pays for. As I said, the same hospice blamed me AND my aunt for stealing fentanyl patches the nurse herself put in another box. We found them before her terse, accusatory phone call to me. I’d call it a one-off until she blamed me a SECOND time for medicating my aunt too early, when her CNA clearly did it. I was at my folks (all three in the household can vouch for that), and came back to my aunt’s at the same time the CNA was leaving. I looked immediately in her clearly marked med box to find ALL the PM pills she was supposed to have at 8 PM gone. All the CNA was to do was give my aunt ONE of the breakthrough meds if she asked for it due to pain. I put a chart on the wall daily in plain sight with the AM meds, what they were, and what time they were given. It was not a hard job, and the CNA STILL managed to f it up. It’s clear they were not the right hospice so I changed to another and it’s been so much better.

The cancer center recommended the other hospice to my aunt. [/quote]

You don't get all this.  Medicare does not pay for respite. Medicaid might depending on what state you are in.  Medicaid also pays for long term nursing homes BUT they do require you to have limited assests and if you have things like a home, they don't require you to sell it but they put a lien on the home to pay back for the care.

Hospice doesn't run daily care.  A family member or private agency does.

If the medication is missing it can be an issue for hospice.  They need to stop giving out medication if the caretakers cannot handle it properly.[/quote]

God, some of you are so clueless and love to start with “you don’t get this’ when indeed it is the poster who doesn’t: Social worker said medicare DOES pay for 5 day inpatient hospice. Then they get sent home. Where the donations kick in is the hospice can use those donations to keep the person longer. The new hospice has provided almost daily nursing care and CNA care.

My aunt does NOT own the home. WE do, and hospice has already stated it’s untouchable as a result. We acted as the bank for her and she welched on the mortgage after one payment 22 years ago and my husband was too kind to evict her. The legal paperwork he filed ensured he would get his money back when she passed, and he didn’t need it immediately. I found out yesterday she was telling all my cousins and aunts and uncles that she’s been renting the house from us, has been paying rent all these years, and that my husband is a slumlord because he would not ‘fix up the house’.  The house is in very good condition. She lied about her income as well. That jives with a nasty letter she wrote my husband over a decade ago stating that ‘since she stopped paying the mortgage, we now own the house and it’s our responsibility to provide anything she asks for’.  When confronted with the letter,  she claimed she didn’t remember writing that, and it must’ve been due to the narcotics she needs for pain. The pieces of the puzzle are coming together now and I’m glad most of my relatives didn’t really believe her anyway.

A younger friend of my aunt’s has stepped in to care for her in exchange for her relatively new vehicle. I was helping my aunt because it was important to my mother, given it was her sister. My mother told me yesterday after what she’s found out from her family in recent days, she doesn’t give a raging crap anymore. Starting tomorrow, I’ll be moving to my mother’s and father’s house for a couple weeks to enjoy their company and help, then go home to prepare for my parents move back east this spring. That’s a huge ray of sunshine right there.[/quote]

Your post makes zero sense.  ZERO!  If she is that ill, take her to the hospital and they can deal with her and get her into a nursing home.  Medicare pays for hospice.  Very few places have hospice facilities but if your area does, take her there and put her in it.  They pay for more than five days or that gives you time to find her a nursing home bed.  This sounds completely fake at this point.

You sound nuts.  If you own the house and she's paying rent, in 22 years, it probably has needed repairs.  So, if you didn't do those repairs you would be a slum board.  Leave the poor woman alone.  Drop her off at the hospital and let someone responsible manage her care.[/quote]
 :roll:  :roll:  :roll:  :mrgreen:  :mrgreen:  :mrgreen: 
1) Hospice nurse evaluated her and she’s of sound mind, even now. They evaluate every time they are here. Therefore no one can force her to go to a nursing home. Social worker said even if everyone was to leave and abandon her at home, they would just find her dead one day on the floor or in bed. Happens all the time with stubborn people who refuse help.

2) Once again for the people in the cheap seats: She owns the house, we are the bank, and she welched on the mortgage decades ago. My husband didn’t throw her out. In hindsight, he should have foreclosed.

3) There has to be an actual bed available in the hospice she’s using (Did you not see she’s using hospice services??) She’s on the list but there is not one available yet. And she has to agree to go. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics