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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You know who sounds controlling to me?  The DIL.

It is weird that the son didn't express agreement or disagreement when his wife made the announcement.  I also think the 2-week focus thing is odd.  Any relationship that needs 2 weeks of one-on-one focus is a relationship that is floundering.  It sounds to me like the DIL is trying to make one last attempt and the way she is doing it is by getting the son away from friends/family and his support system.

The whole thing is setting of warning bells for me.[/quote]

How is DIL controlling when she wants to take a no screen trip away from her spouse? They are married and plenty of married people want uninterrupted time together? MIL is more controlling by getting this bothered by not being able to talk to her grown married son for 2 weeks. Shows she has major enmeshment issues that she needs to resolve.

DIL probably mentioned is because it came up in convo or she knew her husband doesn't have balls to bring it up himself to his mother.

It's very common to go away with no screens. I ask my husband to do that a lot when we are away.[/quote]

I disagree with your assessment because of how the husband responded to the announcement.  His response was to sit there mutely.  That is not the response of someone who supports what his wife is saying; that is the response of someone who is being intimidated into something he doesn't want to do.  If I knew him I would start considering whether his wife was an emotional (or other) type of abuser who was trying to control her husband and alienate him from his support group.  My response would have been different if he had said "Yeah, Mom, Larla is right.  When we go away we'll be on 'no phone' status.  I'll talk to you when we get back."  He didn't.  [/quote]

+1[/quote]

Nope. I think it was more likely that the son was trying to work up the courage to tell his mom to back off, but he chickens out. His wife finally said *she* would do it and the son left her out to dry when he didn’t pipe up in support. [/quote]

Yeah that's how I read it too. I think it's extremely odd that this other poster went right to the wife being abusive. I mean how many posts do we see on here that shows that the husband doesn't have the balls to stand up to mommy and puts the needs of his wife first? The he hangs his wife to dry?[/quote]

Yeah, but those posts are usually written by demanding, strident narcissists so I'm not really surprised about their posts.  OP's post sounds different.  She sounds over the edge of narcissism and well into controlling and isolating.  Like her husband can't even call or text [i]anyone[/i] during the two week trip?  I love my husband unconditionally and we've been married a long time but if he told me that I'd tell him to pound sand.[/quote]

You've just made an assumption that the son doesn't want to do this and its all DIL.  OP said that both son and DIL were there when it was mentioned.  I would think that both son and DIL have decided on this together.  A lot of couples are doing this now, just because you aren't doesn't mean it isn't a thing.  People are different and being different doesn't mean controlling and isolating.

It is for 2 weeks.  Not a lifetime, not forever, 2 weeks. [/quote]

OP also said her son didn't say a word.  That's weird.  I agree that the DIL sounds like she is trying to isolate OP's son.  I would be concerned.  I also cannot imagine anyone telling me that I wouldn't be using my phone or electronics for 2 weeks so that I could focus on the other person.  That smacks of controlling out the wazoo.  [/quote]

I honestly can't believe people are defending the DIL here, who sounds extremely controlling and possibly abusive (she is, at least, doing what abusers often do).

If the genders were reversed here, people would be telling OP that she needs to help her daughter escape the marriage, not defending the behavior.[/quote]

Oh spare me. Abusive? Plenty of couples now a days go screen free. How is it abusive when DIL made it very clear she is doing the same thing as well. She didn't say to MIL Jeff will be screen free the whole vacation. She said we will be going screen free.

I find it interesting how people are calling the DIL controlling when it's the MIL losing sleep over a 2 week no contact from her GROWN son and trying to change her son's plan in their marriage. That's shows more controlling behavior than anything. It also shows that MIL is seriously enmeshed with her son.

What if they went someplace remote that had little to no cell service for 2 weeks what would MIL do then if she couldn't contact her precious baby boy?

If DIL announced or told her husband it's a permanent thing of not talking to certain people or in general this is when he can and can't talk to certain people that would be an entirely different thing.

MIL is the one being deeply controlling trying to get involved and change what the plan is and mommy needs to ween herself off the nipple.[/quote]

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