Reply to Would I be a jerk if I backed out of my family member’s bachelorette party?

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Reply to "Would I be a jerk if I backed out of my family member’s bachelorette party?"

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[quote=Anonymous]

[quote]They keep saying OP should’ve asked for details before giving $800 for the  air bnb so now she should just accept the cost as a lesson learned. I bet all of my money that even she had asked and they gave her some details they would’ve still kept adding costly unknown expenses after the fact leaving OP back to where she is now. Clearly the organizer has no regard for others. 
[/quote]

This is exactly what would have happened - I got suckered into something like this myself once.  The bride and most of the guests were young and just out of college (read: broke) and the original plan as presented at the time of booking was two nights at a semi-local resort with shared rooms, dinner out the first night, hang by the pool all next day, order pizza or something simple to the room the next night, drive home the next AM.  Cereal or granola bars for simple breakfasts in-room, lunch at the pool.  Bride was not a boozer/partier so it sounded like a chill weekend with no major expenses beyond the shared room and the one nice dinner out.  People committed based on that and then over the next several weeks the organizer (who I think was bankrolled by parents and thus no concept of budgeting) kept adding more and more costs and events.  First she wanted to add a spa day on Saturday instead of spending the day at the pool, then she wanted everyone to scrap the pizza/movie night and go out to dinner again, and then she wanted do the prix-fix Sunday brunch before driving back the next day.  Nobody backed out of the trip but most girls sat out some of all of the events which was awkward for everybody.  Hanging out eating pizza in PJs can be fun, but not so much when half the group is getting dolled up for a fancy dinner.  If the eventual itinerary had been presented up-front there would have been a lot more declines, so I don't think it was an accident. [/quote]

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