Reply to Never get second or third date. Why am I so easy to pass over?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here with an update.

I went on a date last night, practicing some of your advice. 
First, I dressed cute and sexy but not over the top like I was trying to be something. 
It was a bar, but it was casual and open ended with no expectations. It was fun.

I did not bring up travel until he asked, and I didn’t prattle on about it. Didn’t even detail specific places other than that I had lived abroad and learned to like some music from different places. But mostly that part of the conversation was about music, which was what we really clicked about, talking about different bands and the like and how both of us found it tedious learning guitar fundamentals. Instead of asking places he had been to (making it sound like a set up to compare passport stamps) I asked instead what he likes to do when he has time off from work. He does like traveling, but more domestically and more for music festivals and concerts. He is active, but more into soccer than mountain climbing. So it’s cool that there are similarities and then differences within those similarities… makes getting to know someone interesting. I probably asked him two questions about himself for every one question he asked about me, and showed interest in what he had to say. I’d like to say I was more mindful but less tense. 
He wasn’t my usual “type” but attractive in an offbeat sort of way. He said he’d like to see me again, I said sure, but no concrete plans yet. I feel laid back about it, it would be fun to see him again but not the end of the world if I don’t. I have two other dates for the next week. Maybe I’ll get better?

I had no idea this thread would drag out so long honestly, but I do appreciate the straightforward answers. I actually expected more snark. Am I on the spectrum? Who knows, maybe I am, maybe we all are to some degree. As far as social cues go, I think I am instead hyper-aware if not paranoid and skeptical of taking peoples word face value (for example, guys who appeared interested in the travel stories, I had a hunch that they were lying or being fake, and I often have a first assumption that people are being fake, but that’s a whole other issue)[/quote]

I'm sure this didn't happen at all.[/quote]

Don’t know why you would say that, but it did happen. 
Other thing I meant to say was nobody talked politics, save for cracking one joke about anti-vaxxer/anti-maskers. I guess “clear the air” wasn’t the right way to describe it, I guess it’s more that I would gently make a subtle statement about or react to something just to make sure a guy doesn’t Love Trump, or believe that vaccines are communism. It’s not like I would actually grill someone on all their views and insist that we agree on everything. [/quote]

Yes and it just so happens that the advice to become a complete blank slate and only interested in what the man likes is what works for you. Gunny how similar that is to the other multi page thread about a woman who just couldn't get dates, and as soon as she transformed herself into all the misogynistic stereotypes things just opened up for her, and that's with ignoring all your buzzwords and phrases in this thread.[/quote]

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