Reply to Never get second or third date. Why am I so easy to pass over?

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Reply to "Never get second or third date. Why am I so easy to pass over?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I doubt it's the travel stuff. Travel discussion is a common ice breaker because it allows people to talk about fun vacations and find common points of interest.

I suspect that it's the "let's clear the air about" stuff. If I heard that, even from a prospective friend, I would run the other direction. It sounds like you are feeling tense about the prospect that the person might disagree with you. And, over the course of a relationship, you'll definitely disagree about a lot of things. Normally, it's not a problem when people disagree because they like and respect each other, and if you say early on that you're worried that you may have different views and need to "clear the air" it suggests that you may create conflicts because your affection is contingent on them agreeing with your views. Which is unfair and does not bode well for the future of any relationship.

I'd offer this advice - consider whether this is true. Whether you really are this tense about people having other views. If you are, get to the bottom of this because even if you end up married, this will be a problem spot in your marriage.  If you get the guy to fake agreement with you on all politics or whatever, it will still be a problem because they won't be able to "bring their whole selves" to the marriage.

If it isn't true, and you are able to respect people even if you think think are dead wrong on a topic, then drop the tense language about "clearing the air" and don't make it a tense subject.  Learning about the other person should be part of the fun, not an issue to be dealt with. [/quote]

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