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[quote=Anonymous]We just sent our oldest of 3 off to college last year. Our salary was between $100K and $180K the whole time (one full-time salary and a sometime part-time salary, so no daycare). Our goal was to save enough to pay for in-state tuition and room and board for each child for 4 years. Our parents did it for us and we wanted to do the same. It gave me (and spouse) a great start in life and has made a huge difference in our ability to save for a home/retirement/our children's college funds, etc. so we wouldn't consider making them pay for their own college.

A few things I have learned after having just gone through the college process:

1. Students, for the most part, can only take out $27K in student loans over 4 years (they are federal loans). They can take out private loans but would need a co-signer - usually parents -which means parents are ultimately responsible for paying back if kid does not. There are limited exceptions to this. So for any parents not planning to pay, you need other options like community college, lots of APs, dual-enrollment, scholarships, kids with really good savings/part-time jobs, etc.

2. For the most part, hard-working, studious high school students do not suddenly become slackers in college because their parents are paying for it. Most high schoolers have no "skin in the game" and perform at whatever level they perform. You could assume the same level of performance in college. If a studious high-schooler suddenly becomes a partier in college, you could always threaten cutting off funds at that point. But why assume if they have no skin in the game, they won't work hard in college? Did your kid ever give you reason to believe that is the type of person they are? Trust your kid. Show them you believe in them.

3. If you have a set amount of funds for college, TELL YOUR KID THE AMOUNT you are willing to pay. Avoid your kid having a "dream school" scenario. Unless your kid is the next Marie Currie or Albert Einstein, and even then, you should be able to find a school in your budget that will meet your kids' needs. We set that budget at $40K per year. Our son was allowed to go to any school that met that criteria. We allowed him to apply to more expensive schools with the understanding that he wouldn't attend unless merit aid would bring the total cost of attendance down to $40K per year. He applied to both in-state and out-of-state (OOS) public and private schools. He ended up at an OOS public at a school tops in his major.

4. Where you go to college does not define you. It is a means to an end with the end goal being a happy, successful adult life. There are many paths to getting there. You can be a superstar at a lesser-known, less competitive college or one of many brilliant students at a well-known, competitive college. You can become a success from either of those options or anywhere in between. What you do at college will have a greater impact than where you go. A big college name will open some doors but your confidence, work ethic, and grit will make a greater difference in your success.[/quote]

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