Reply to Does you relationship change if you stay home ( for moms)?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Everyone’s situation is unique. When my kids were little I SAH and it worked beautifully. We skipped the stressful daycare years, I could handle illnesses and well visits, etc. When DH was home he was all hands on deck because there was always something that needed doing.

Once the kids got older it gradually became that I was handling most of the cooking, shopping, hiring contractors, etc. because the kids were gone during the day.

As much as I loved being a SAH I didn’t really enjoy the housewife parts. I also wasn’t a “go the the gym and redecorate the house” type. So I found a flexible WFH job and DH and I divide the drudgery or outsource it and I’m much happier.

Everyone needs to do what works for their marriage.[/quote]

This sounds like a great solution and a path I'd like to follow. I actually do enjoy some of the household "drudgery" though, in some ways more than childcare! Like I actively enjoy cleaning the house and derive a lot of satisfaction from it. But I also like working and I get a lot out of having my own income just from a self-worth standpoint. When I stopped working for a bit when our DC was a baby/toddler, that was the hardest part for me, is losing that sense of accomplishment and worth that I got out of receiving a paycheck. It was a relief when I started working again for that reason alone -- I just like the security of having my own income.

But that said, I am 100% on the train of having the flexible WFH job. I currently work around 20 hours a week and will probably ramp up once school is back in person, but I don't have any plans to go back to a full-time, in office job with benefits and set hours if I can help it. It's just really helpful to have one partner who can make their schedule around what the kids and house need. And I honestly prefer it. I don't feel like I've given up anything really. In my mind, I'm getting the better end of the deal -- I get more time with my kid, I work but have less stress because of shorter hours, and I can make my own schedule. I think it's tougher for my DH having to deal with a more rigid schedule and greater work demands. I'm not on a "gravy train" as I know I'm contributing every bit as much as my DH. But I think my set up is advantageous compared to his.[/quote]

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