Reply to If you’re a SAHM, how do you value your work?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the most impt part is the sahm valuing herself. Doesnt matter how anyone else values her. If shes doesnt value herself and how shes spending her time, then thats where the problem lies. Ive been a sahm, I lost myself, lost confidence in my self worth, lost my identity, etc, and just as I started picking up the pieces, Covid hit. Its hard not to get lost in the day to day grind of it all and I wish I had prioritized my own self care as much as I prioritized all the kid stuff.[/quote]

OP here. I get what you’re saying but the funny thing is, I actually really enjoy just about every aspect of it. I love my day to day. It’s just that I know I could easily hire someone else to do it and that I’m not contributing to society like working people are.

I think we have to be ok with difference. It’s counterproductive to try to pretend everyone is equal when experience tells us we’re not. I know being a SAHM is not as important to society as a loooong list of occupations but I choose it anyway. It’s ok. We don’t have to be the same.[/quote]

I’m a SAHM too. I don’t think we can easily hire someone to do what I do. Cook, clean, childcare, driving, choosing enriching activities for the kids suited to their abilities and interests... this is at least a housekeeper, nanny, and maybe more. [/quote]

Working parents do almost everything you mentioned, especially the enriching activity. It’s just part of being a parent.[/quote]

LOL exactly. Like who do they think does this in households where parents both work? I work. I cook. I clean. I take care of my kids. I drive. I choose activities. I also earn money. And set a good example for my kids.[/quote]

I’m guessing PP SAHM wrote that because her DH does none of those things, therefore she feels it’s part of the job description for a SAHM. But... no. It’s called being a parent.[/quote]
Except you don’t do all those things. You cannot be present in two places at once. Someone is doing the childcare part during the day, and that is either the parent or a paid employee. [/quote]

Other than childcare for that 40 hours a week (25% of the week), working parents do all the same things as houseparents.[/quote]
Curious if all these SAHM haters pay their daycare or nannies since they don't seem to think it's work? 
[/quote]

CAN YOU READ? I don't understand why you are so hell bent on misrepresenting what people are saying. Many posters have acknowledged that childcare is work. The issue is with posters listing things beyond the hours of childcare per week that SAHMs provide and acting like WOHMs don't do those same things.[/quote]

The assumption is that most WOHMs are outsourcing childcare during the day, and then splitting all other tasks 50/50 with their working spouse when at home. I would say that most SAHMs do the tasks you and your spouse would split 50/50 after work, allowing their spouses to devote more time to their careers. At least that's how it is with many SAHMs I know, many military or with other spouses with intense work schedules. So while most WOHMs are doing everything that SAHMs are doing, WOHMs are doing those things in smaller quantities and splitting the difference with SAHDs, or hiring outside help for cleaning, etc. If you are actually working full time as well as doing everything else a SAHM is doing (apart from childcare while at work) you need to have a conversation with your husband about a more equitable division of household labor.[/quote]

Ok, I'm not sure you make any sense.

Are you saying that SAHMs do more than WOHMs because SAHMs have worthless husbands?[/quote]

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