Reply to Duggars having another. Miracle of god, and all that.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]It's called BALANCE.

I know a family with 8 kids and another with 6 kids. In this day, that's large. [b]Can I have conversations with these mothers that reach BEYOND their children? no [/b]It's all about their children. And I suppose it will be like that for many years to come. They're often disorganized, or they're so in control they're militant. Either way, the kids in both families are not necessarily better off - and money is not an issue, as neither mother works.

I don't define myself by one thing. But when you have so many kids, you're FORCED to define yourself as mother only b/c there's nothing left of you to give to yourself. THAT'S healthy? [/quote]

That's true of MANY mothers with only one or two kids - welcome to DCUM where we drone on ad nauseum about our special snowflakes!!

Also, what is the precise number of kids that FORCES you do define yourself as a mother because there's nothing else left?  It sounds like 6 is for sure, based on the one family you know with 6 kids.  So how about 5 kids?  I'm just wondering b/c I have 4 and would like to know if I've passed the tipping point yet.  
[/quote]

If you're not crazy after 4, more power to you.  There is a family of 4 at my daughter's school (one of many but one I know a bit more than the rest).  The mother does nothing but complain b/c her husband encouraged her to quit her high-profile job b/c they couldn't keep up with their four.  She complains about her weight, about her husband's reluctance to participate in household chores, her duties as a driver b/c her kids are in different activities, and her loss of "self."  Furthermore, her youngest is challenging, to say the least, and there is tension between mother and daughter.  While I don't know her very well, I'm obviously one she chooses to confide in.

It's depressing as hell.  I just want to take her out to happy hour, buy her rounds of drinks and let her relax for 3 hours.

While I can't compare her to a Duggar, as she's obviously self-sufficient and educated, she made the choice to have 4 kids, which apparently is killing her.  But ain't no turning back now!

Not ALL "mothers of many" are like her.  But when you're spending hours driving to and from activities, making enough meals to feed an army, doing enough loads to clothe a small country, something's not right.

We ALL need to learn to be a bit selfish.

I will not give up my exercise.  I will continue to take classes to keep my certification updated.  I will expect my husband to be an equal partner. And I will not become so overwhelmed that my children suffer.

In the short scenes we view of the Duggars, they never seem tense, but how real is reality TV?  We'll never see the true Duggars.  So to all of you defending their choice to produce a small country - Do you REALLY think the show is depicting them fully and accurately?  [/quote]

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