Reply to Has anyone stayed with a spouse after they had an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  They no longer work together but I'm just wondering if anyone truly gets over the feelings of intense betrayal and disappointment in a way that a real marriage is actually possible going forward. [/quote]

OP I’ve been there and it sucks to say the least. It’s like dealing with a death. Anger, sadness, disbelief but the biggest feeling is insecurity. It makes you feel so unattractive no matter how beautiful you are.   Why else would your spouse want anyone else?  The only thing that heals is time and your spouse doing everything possible to make you feel loved and secure again.  Remember it’s about them not you.  Infidelity has been going on since the beginning of time and most women forgive and stay with their husbands. Men and women both get bored in a marriage and they want that excitement back from someone new. When I saw a picture of my ex’s mistress I was floored. She wasn’t attractive at all and I was gorgeous back in the day!  But I partly blame myself for my exDH seeking an affair because I no longer wanted sex with him and made it obvious.   I even told him to leave me alone and go get it elsewhere. :shock:   But in my defense he wanted it everyday and I had just had a baby and he didn’t want to wait the 6 weeks after a vaginal delivery.  Plus he was very verbally abusive. 
The affair that really crushed me was with a boyfriend who I really wanted sex with. Oh boy, talking about an ego blow! I would look in the mirror and see Jabba the Hutt after that one.  :cry: [/quote]

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