Reply to Dating a Red Piller

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Dating a Red Piller"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
[snipped for brevity]  The problem is that the philosophies underpinning this advice are toxic. Evangelical Christianity wants people to treat their sexuality carefully and with love. To not give your body away  and to be careful in who you choose to trust with it. This is good advice. But of course it is based on the idea that a man is entitle to his wife's virginity and therefore a woman's body is not solely her own. The toxic underpinning philosophy creates the direction that you slide down the slippery slope. And its a slope that leads towards repressed sexuality and misogyny.

The toxic underpinning of the red pill ideology means its good advice is muddied by everything that surrounds it. It creates a framework where the good advice is based in something that makes you fundamentally respect the women you are dating less. You have assigned them a worldview and motivation structure that frames them as shallow and transactional. Therefore you are permitted to behave shallowly and transactionally. You believe you would not have had dating success without this, so your girlfriend/wife/whatever is a shallow creature who had to be manipulated into loving you. The justification for your behavior, which is not bad on its face, reveals ugly things about the way you see the world. Your means to achieving the end of a successful relationship have laid toxic seeds that will eventually, IMO, poison the relationship. [/quote]

I think this is where you miss the point of the red pill theories on partner count.  For most, the impetus to seek a spouse with a low number of partners is not motivated by religious morality, but rather by an empirical judgement (which may of course be in error) that the greater number of partners a woman has had, the greater the chance that she is pining for “the one who got away,” which can have toxic effects on a relationship, and the more likely she is to be “settling” sexually for her long term partner, which can have toxic effects on the sexual aspects of a relationship.  Men simply cannot intuit the idea of marrying someone you are not really sexually attracted to, but as I have grown older and wiser it seems to me that it happens all the time.  The partner count issue is not moral (for most) or transactional; it’s risk management.

Cue the chorus of people who will call that insecure.  It’s not insecure if its accurate.  There’s always someone better.  If a woman has had 30 partners, what are the odds that you, groom, are the one that really knocks her socks off? Or are even in the top 3?  A lot longer than if that number is 4.   This issue may not be that important to women, but it is to men.  [/quote]

I’m unsure what point of mine you believe you are arguing against. Because this response doesn’t seem related to my point. Perhaps you misunderstood what I was trying to say? My point is not about any one specific aspect of the red pill stuff, it’s that the entire mindset is tainted by the toxic and misogynistic base level beliefs that inform even the harmless and even good pieces of advice.[/quote]

Ok I think I fixed this formatting[/quote]

Apologies if my point wasn’t clear.  As I understand your position, it was that notwithstanding accuracy on some (I’d say many) points, red pill theories are inherently tainted by misogyny.  I read your post to reference Evangelical theological principles related to chastity and the “transactional” approach to sexuality as evidence that what you say is true. I believe that claim is incorrect, as red pill theories are actually premised on other things, as I tried to explain.  Does that clarify where I was coming from?  I’m not sure I can be much clearer.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics